A Day In The Life of Man Part 1

Man wakes up in the morning. His farts wakes him up. Man says “What the f**k” and he continues to fart. “ Damn it and I was having good dream too. I was f*****g Salma Hayek” . Men gets up from his bed and grabs his gun next to the bed. He locks and loads the gun and walks downstairs to the kitchen. His wife is finishing breakfast for him. She says “Good morning hun.” . Man replies “Whatever B***h” His wife ignores the rude comment “Here’s your toast and eggs just how you like em.”. Man smells the toast and eggs then throws it on the ground. Man yells “ B***h you made the toast too toasty.”. His scared wife responds “I’m sorry hun.”

        Man slaps his wife across the face and leaves the house. Man then starts to look for a car. He sees a Lamborgini Diabolo across the street. A young teenage boy is about to drive the car. Man walks up to the boy and draws his gun on the boy. Man tells the boy
“Boy you better give me this motherfucken car.”. The boy raises his hands and exits the car. Man enters the car is drives off. He runs past a red light. Man says “F**k the lights. Don’t tell me when to stop driving. I stop driving when I feel like it.” A police car spots Man driving fast and starts to chase after Man.
        
Man pulls out his gun and starts to shoot at the police behind him. He shoots the police car at the engine and the police car blows up. Man yells out loud “Whooo hooo. Good shot. No one f***s with the Man.”. Man finally arrives at his destination. His work place. He illegally parks the car at a handicap spot. He then enters his work place. His female coworker approaches Man and tells him “You’re late for work”. Man replies “I don’t give a f**k. Do I look like I give a f**k?” The female coworker walks away.

Man walks to his Boss’s office. “Well look he finally decided to show up for work, well if it isn’t the Man himself” says The Boss. Man then takes his gun puts it on his Boss’s head. “Now you listen to me, you’re gonna give me raise” says Man. The Boss pees in his pants and says “Sure whatever you want”.

A Day In The Life of Man Part 2
A Story by The Reviewer

Reviews

[The Mongoloids Cafe]

Man and Mongoloid should hang out.

[Megan]

I like how he's not just man, he's "the man". It is like a caricature of the alpha male.

I do have to make one critique though: You have good scenarios here, but I would love you to go into all of them further, the wife, the car, the chase. Though girl and man are nameless, and these are daily mundane fragments of these people's lives, the stories themselves can still be in depth. I want to read the fear on the wife and boy's faces, the details of the police car blowing up, etc.

You've painted some good pictures, now they just need shading.

[Rain]

Hey Daniel..
Brother,do me a favor. You got my email,review your piece for me. Tell me how long it took you to write,and what were your thoughts as the words flowed.. You are like a box of chocolates. I promise I'll review it,not that it matters. Rain

[Phillip J Clayton]

haha ok i think i have to recant my review on part 2 now that i ahve read part one lol, i think this style works for the story lol, it's kind of like a looney toons documentary lol.

cheers!

[Alistair Canlin]

Don't mess with the man. A staccatto style that almost jars, but its speed keeps you reading.
When's the man's book on how to make friends and influence people going to come out?

[Ara Kayman]

Wow I can't help but laugh. This is so originally... awesome. I like it. The theme is... Man with gone gets whatever he wants? Or violence gets you what you want? Or f**k what everyone else thinks, this is my story, I write whatever I damn please?

[LizLadyNinja]

Salma.. haha reminds me of a South Park episode. Okay all goofyness aside, I think this could be loads better. It seem's too rushed. Like it was a memory someone had. Don't get me wrong its hallarious, but just too fast paced. I think that if you slowed it down just a wee bit, it could be better. Of course its great the way it is. I loved the part about the toast. ;p Thanks for sharing!

[Dice Rosenthal]

The man lol. hilarious. and Salma is one seriously hot woman. Awsome story, im laughing = )

[Hh/happy Bunny Lives On..]

Serious Caveman reviews dude! LMAO I saw them. F*****g jealousy, just cause you can write and they can't. You are on my Top TEN for Being so f*****g Funny! LMAO Great story dude, really.

[Sarabeara!]

ahahaha I just read this...way too great!!

No one f***s with the Man!! haha...toast too toasty...haha