I'm a Personal Trainer

a poem inspired by a poet named Danny Matos. He lost a Poetry Slam in the Nuyorican Poet's Cafe. But i feel its unfair since the winning poets are teachers.

I'm not a teacher
I'm a personal trainer
I don't teach bad a*s inner city kids
I help fat people so they can be fit
You make sure your kids stay in school
I make sure fat people get off their stools
You make sure your kids go to their classes
I make sure fat people lose their fat asses
So I'm not a teacher
That does not mean I'm not saving the world
No one wants to date a fat girl
I'm helping her lose weight
So cool kids can ask her for a date
Sorry I don't have poems about gentrification
I help others get strong through recreations
Sorry I don't have poems about slavery
I'm a capitalist all I care about is money
So buy my book of poetry
Sorry I don't have poems about being black
Since I'm half Latino I guess I am not that oppressed
Sorry that I am not a lesbian
Nevermind
I know what it feels like to fall in love with a woman
I have no chance in a Poetry Slam
But you know what I don't give a damn
Sorry that I'm not teaching kids for the future
I'm teaching adults to get their health better
So sorry that I don't fit what you think is a poet
I am not a teacher
I'm a personal trainer
So I don't care what you think m**********r

Author's Note

Reviews

[Frantzuu]

Awesome writing. :)

[Crazy Cat Man]

yeah dude. if u been to poetry slams. the winners are usually teachers who have poems about their students.

[KAOlmsted]

Cat Man Do! This is one of my favorites from you. Really well done, and I love the message. Great write, my friend.

-kimmer ;-)

[Holly Mason]

well if that doesn't say it all
you tell them!
thank you for sharing

[Natasha]

ha lyric wise i think this is one of your strongest pieces :D

[Pax]

epic ending!
great read!

[Baby Ricochet]

HA! I'm a heterosexual marine built like a f*****g Clydesdale who openly admits to objectifying women and treating them like sex toys. About the only way I could win a poetry slam is putting emphasis on the word "SLAM" when talking to the judges. I liked this poem. Particularly the ending. F**k you dick. That's what I'm talking about

[Crazy Cat Man]

Ha. i knew u were gonna like this poem. i was gonna message u. yeah u are built like a diezel. u gotta write from ur own experiences. f**k those weird poetry slam peoples

[kublakhan27]

This poem doesn't just bite, it lacerates, and I mean that in the emotional and complimentary way...even though it's inspired by a personal event, it becomes a social commentary very quickly, and a viciously witty one at that...an intensely significant piece of writing on many levels :)

[Crazy Cat Man]

Yeah. have u ever heard of the Nuyorican Poets Cafe? very militant there. the popular poets were the Militants, Black Lesbians, Teachers, but my friend is not a teacher he's a personal trainer. so this is a tribute to him.