The Last Call

A poem about the last call at bars. On how we need the last call so the night cannot go on forever

The Last Call
You're trying to luck out
To find a hot babe
Instead you're striking out
You see a hot lady
You hope to take her home maybe
So you say what's up baby
She laughs and walks away
You better hurry up
You're time is almost up
Your tab is about to be closed
You're looking for other hoes
But they have no interest in you
You might as well look at porn at RedTube
The Last Call is great
Cuz theres a timeline to get laid
If you can't get a girl by 2 A.M.
Then call it a night then
If she's still talking
Then it's time to get the walking
But you're patient
So now you're stalking
You want to walk her home
In hopes that you can bone
You offer so she won't walk alone
You want the digits to her cellphone
Oh no she want's to go to another bar
You don't want to go there at all
She's pushing it too far
Damn now you have to pay for another drink
While she talks about her shrink
You just want to get into her sink
But she's not interested
She just wants to talk
While you're ready to balk
Now she's talking about her aunt
OK you had enough
Say goodnight hun
You're done
This is why we have the last call
No time to stall
You have reached your time limit
She didn't come with it
So you blaze up
And get livid

Author's Note

Reviews

[kublakhan27]

A deliciously clever piece of social commentary...my last calls have been downgraded to no calls thanks to my self-imposed boycott of clubs...being one who can't do so much as sample alcohol cuz of a health condition, clubs are absolutely useless to me, in fact I resent them to an extent...I don't care what anyone says, if you're gonna go to a club with no intention of taking at least one drink, there's no point in going...and I can only really "blaze" at home so why bother haha

[John Patrick Robbins AK..]

Loved it man and hey this really connects for me dam fine work stay crazy and cheers Gonzo

[FJ Davis]

This ritual doesn't seem to have changed much over the last forty or fifty years.
An amusing account, Craze!

[eglantine]

you need to perform poetry

[Crazy Cat Man]

I do, :P did u see the video?

[eglantine]

... i don't think so... but then again, i have a terrible memory and have been ridiculously busy lately

[That_Girl]

Hahaha ohhh the joys of RedTube. One of my favorites....

Anywhoo... O.o .... I liked it a lot. It wasn't as sarcastic as some of your other pieces but a lovely addition to the 'dating' collection. ;)

[Crazy Cat Man]

Thanks this was a weird one. I guess my point of the poem is that we need a last call :P.
read moreThanks this was a weird one. I guess my point of the poem is that we need a last call :P.

Did u see the video? Those are the types of girls i always meet at these bars and parties lol

[That_Girl]

lol yeah I did... kinda funny. A Jersey Slore.

[Crazy Cat Man]

Lol im tired of girls like that. Oh yes red tube is that ur fave site? Lol

[Michael Thrower]

Someone say redtube? ;)

[Michael Thrower]

xnxx.

[That_Girl]

RedTube is probably my fav yeah. YouPorn isn't bad either

[Faffy]

i still prefer your writing avy =P

[That_Girl]

...OH! Hahahaha thanks. ;)

[Baby Ricochet]

It's a cute poem. I like the rhyming and it's typical subject matter for cat man. A fun little read.

[Baby Ricochet]

One word for this dilema: Hooker

[Ees]

Funny thing you have here.
I'd like to see some breaks- stanzas here, to let the lines and humor sink in a bit. You took last call to a very funny place. I tend to see last call differently, but then again, I'm not one for having any fun with men I meet in bars... haha, and I tend bar, so last call is usually about scooting the idiots out the door, cleaning up, relaxing for a minute and turning out the lights, checking to make sure all of the doors are locked and going home. haha.

this one isn't my favorite of yours, but I can't deny the humor and the concept reminds me of something my friend Jarraj would go on about, he talks about getting dates and time frames and stuff like that a lot and it is always hilarious when he does, so that it reminds me of Jarraj, maybe endears me to this poem more than I otherwise would have.

Hahah, good job. `

[Crazy Cat Man]

Haha last call is a great thing, the crazy nights need to end. Without last calls nights will go on forever and the person ur with is wasting ur time lol :P thanks

[Ees]

Haha. And again you remind me of Jarraj with this topic. hahaha. Nights do need to end. I'll agree with you there!

[Crazy Cat Man]

You always tell me to do stanzas but i dont do that. These pieces are meant to be perform and each line is a punchline. If the audience laughs after i read a line i stop reading to let them finish laughing then i proceed. Thats why i dont bother using traditional stanzas. If u see some of my videos ull see what im talking about :P

[Ees]

But if you used stanzas that would plan time to laugh.
Haha, I am prob going to keep telling you to do that. I like stanzas because I get confused when I read. My eyes don't stay on the right line sometimes. Obviously, you don't have to listen to me, but I'll prob keep saying and you'll keep ignoring me.

[Crazy Cat Man]

Laughs are unpredictable. I read poems for different audiences. The response is always different. :P

[Crazy Cat Man]

lol im actually writing a new poem that has stanzas lol its not becuz u said i should do it. its becuz. the new poem im writing needs it lol ull see

[Ees]

haha.
That's totally fair and I would expect nothing less than doing it on your own, not because of anything that I have said!

[KAOlmsted]

You know, I feel a need to counter this poem with one of my own ;-)

You want to know what last call is like for US???

*laugh* Really fun write, Cat Man Do...loved it.

[Crazy Cat Man]

lol yes please write it. did u watch the video? lol that was from SNL. :P

i dont necessarily write about myself. I write about observations :P

[KAOlmsted]

I didn't watch the video--wasn't feeling it this time *laugh* But SNL is funny, mostly. Maybe later ;-)

I am soooooo writing it! Already started churning it in my brain.

Yes...observations...of course. Me too. :-p

[Crazy Cat Man]

Nice. I can't wait to read it :D I wanna see ur POV.

[Ees]

Haha. I was thinking similarly before I looked down to your review. This poem does almost beg for a woman's take on the same situation.

[Crazy Cat Man]

This poem was also inspired by the same event that inspired me to write the other poem "Conversations end with hello". I observed a friend tried to make moves at the same club. She was not interested and just wanted to be with her gf. And he was willing to stay out as long as he can to get a whiff lol. The girl was too gorgeous for him lol. Poor guy he was nerdy

[KAOlmsted]

I am almost done with it, son...patience...;-)

[KAOlmsted]

Okay...I think I went off on a bit of a tangent that really has nothing to do with countering your piece *laugh* But you know what? It's been f*****g YEARS (read: decades) since I've been in a last call situation...maybe someone better suited should take the challenge *grin* Meanwhile, I posted Just For Fun just for you...xoxo

[KAOlmsted]

...and I just watched the video... :-D

[Ees]

I have been contemplating doing a response, but I don't know how to think like that, or have that type of humor in a poem, but maybe I'll give it a shot. I am going to go read yours, KAOlmstead, now. I am fascinated in the way that many people can have many different takes on one situation.