This A#$hole Kitten

This A#$hole Kitten

A Poem by Crazy Cat Man
"

Inspired by a funny chat I had with Shelley Holt-Lowrey. She sent me a pic of a cute kitten and called the kitten an a*****e. I think its a challenge to destroy something so cute. for no reason haaha

"
This a*****e kitten
Is really getting on my nerves
When I'm mad at the world
He just purrs
I get pissed off
When he ignores my calls
and just sharpens his claws
When I come home from work
He just yawns
and plays with his ball of yarns
When i try to pet him
He runs away
and hides under the couch
He only comes out
When he sees a mouse
But he's a lousy hunter
He's useless
Like a bunter
He is only sweet
when it's time to eat
and when I give him treats
But when I have no food
He gets in a foul mood
He gets pissed
And he starts to hiss
If he dies he will not be missed
This kitten is an a*****e
he also s***s outside of the litter box
He does that a lot
To get under my skin
He hides behind his cuteness
But underneath there's a darkness
Lurking inside
That why he hides
Under the chair
When I walk by
He attacks
And scratches my feet
I admit defeat
Don't be fooled by his tricks
He's a dick
Don't be fooled by his cute eyes
If he has his way, you will die
So beware when I tell you
Do not be smitten
By this evil kitten


© 2012 Crazy Cat Man


Author's Note

Crazy Cat Man
this my cat. R.I.P. Cholo....he was being a jerk. playing with my toothbrush :P


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Reviews

Ahahahaha that's funny as hell. I have a cat, she's... 14 years old. Lazy but adorable. She has a mean streak too. I think every living thing does. Keep it up, I look forward to your poems.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Destinyxi

12 Years Ago

haha aww, why's he hating on a white cat?
Crazy Cat Man

12 Years Ago

he;s jealous of the white cat's happiness lol
Destinyxi

12 Years Ago

hahaha poor black kitty x.x
I wonder if there are really people getting mad at this? if they are wow im surprised hahahaha :P

Posted 12 Years Ago


Sometimes it's the owner not the pet.

Posted 12 Years Ago


hahaha, I have a kitty and she's pretty much not a normal cat. She is the sweetest thing ever

Posted 12 Years Ago


That was f**King hilarious!!!!! Laugh out loud funny!!! HA!!!

Posted 12 Years Ago


Dumb stupid cat. Cute dumb stupid cat.

Posted 12 Years Ago


[send message][befriend] Subscribe
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I am so torn between laughing my a*s off right now and being so mad that you are such a jerk to this poor little kitten! Look at that face...gee whiz......

Posted 12 Years Ago


Crazy Cat Man

12 Years Ago

I know thats the point :P i just wanted to write a silly piece that makes no sense :P just wanted to.. read more
GREAT - remind me of this a lot... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qit3ALTelOo

Posted 12 Years Ago


Siddartha Beth Pierce

12 Years Ago

Very cute!
Crazy Cat Man

12 Years Ago

poor Henri :( he suffers so much lol
Siddartha Beth Pierce

12 Years Ago

Tee hee!
lol never been a cat person at all.... so this was hilariously true in my POV! ;) Well done!

Posted 12 Years Ago


naaa kittens are really cute they cant be evil

Posted 12 Years Ago


Crazy Cat Man

12 Years Ago

Cholo and Bindi are on my arm :P my nickname is The Man With the Cat Tattoos :P
Owlgirl

12 Years Ago

That is epic!
afra

12 Years Ago

if you love cat then its okay ....no one should be mean to cats

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1561 Views
24 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on August 14, 2012
Last Updated on August 18, 2012
Tags: asshole, kitten, jerk, cute, punk

Author

Crazy Cat Man
Crazy Cat Man

New York, NY



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