This A#$hole Kitten

Inspired by a funny chat I had with Shelley Holt-Lowrey. She sent me a pic of a cute kitten and called the kitten an a*****e. I think its a challenge to destroy something so cute. for no reason haaha

This a*****e kitten
Is really getting on my nerves
When I'm mad at the world
He just purrs
I get pissed off
When he ignores my calls
and just sharpens his claws
When I come home from work
He just yawns
and plays with his ball of yarns
When i try to pet him
He runs away
and hides under the couch
He only comes out
When he sees a mouse
But he's a lousy hunter
He's useless
Like a bunter
He is only sweet
when it's time to eat
and when I give him treats
But when I have no food
He gets in a foul mood
He gets pissed
And he starts to hiss
If he dies he will not be missed
This kitten is an a*****e
he also s***s outside of the litter box
He does that a lot
To get under my skin
He hides behind his cuteness
But underneath there's a darkness
Lurking inside
That why he hides
Under the chair
When I walk by
He attacks
And scratches my feet
I admit defeat
Don't be fooled by his tricks
He's a dick
Don't be fooled by his cute eyes
If he has his way, you will die
So beware when I tell you
Do not be smitten
By this evil kitten

Author's Note

this my cat. R.I.P. Cholo....he was being a jerk. playing with my toothbrush :P

Reviews

[Soul Fire]

Very funny! :)

[Persephone]

LOL oh those crazy felines! They sure can hold a grudge! Great poem!

[Heather]

Very funny, I laughed out loud, poor owner of a$$hole kitten. Witty indeed

[mary mary quite contrar..]

Thank you for that! I needed a laugh. My son once told me to "get some balls" because I am too soft. He said "go punch a kitten" that will toughen you up. I don't think I will ever do it. When I was visiting Peru I saw a young girl punch her baby goat in the head because he wanted to get out of her arms.

[Crazy Cat Man]

im glad u laughed. thats the point of this poem.....:p its supposed to be silly

[Katie Flores]

ha so I really like that I could draw a parallel not just to your cat, but to others who hide behind their cuteness, especially some girls. They act all friendly sometimes, but they are really just manipulators. but cute cat :)

[Crazy Cat Man]

did u see the video of my cat? LOL thats him playing with my toothbrush. i have no idea why is trying to play with it lol...silly cat...oh yes i have come across those girls who hide behind their cuteness..they are bad bad girls lol

[Katie Flores]

i wish I could. Im on my colleges computer and it won't show, but I'll check it when I get home :) ha yea, but the thing is, unlike your cat, they let A LOT of people pet them ;)

[Crazy Cat Man]

My poem is a entirely made up poem LOL....i got the idea by looking at the cute picture and decided to write about how much of an a*****e the kitten is LOL..maybe ill look at a pic of a dolphin and call it this a*****e dolphin lol

[Pax]

a cute tribute to your sneaky cat.
i really like the video..

[Crazy Cat Man]

yes. he was a sneaky cat......he liked to collect balls of paper and put em on a pile together lol.

[Pax]

i only imagine his sneaky, i never thought he's actually sneaky. lol

[Crazy Cat Man]

he loved to play the stalker game. when u stare at him and he stays still, then when u move he gets closer,,,then when u look back he stops lol a*****e

[Pax]

looks kinda fun, my cat back at home is not really playful like yours, thats why i find it really fun.

[Autumn Dawn Gorny]

I have four demon spawn myself! They only allow, yes allow, you to see them when you are busy or when they want something. They are like small children hyped up on sugar. But you must admit they teach you some creative things, like how to maneuver around furniture and hide things in place you would never think of using before.

[Call_Me_Miss_Imperfect]

I love this since I'm definitely a cat lady! We have eight cats! xD I actually have recently gotten scratched by my cat named "Tori", since I was trying to get her off of my stereo. She always sleeps ontop of it for some reason. I guess the heat that gives off of it, attracts her. Yeah, they might sometimes be a handful but it always suck to lose one of them. I've lost a lot of cats over the years and it feels as if you lost a family member, because really they do overtime become part of the family. This is cute and true about cats in general! Also, the picture just makes me say "Awwwh". It's adorable :3

Ashley Rivers-- Dream BIG and you'll win BIG:)

[Crazy Cat Man]

yes I miss my cat Cholo. he had a weird personality. He doesn't meow. he just hisses which makes everyone laugh. hes hairy and cute. When he jumps on tables he tries his best to knock down anything LOL other cats will run and knock down everything LOL....but he was polite...he didn't want to knock down anything LOL i always laughed when he jumped on the table

[Call_Me_Miss_Imperfect]

Awwwh, what happened to him? :( but that's so sweet. I think every cat has a different and an unique personality. They're like people. Lol:)

[Crazy Cat Man]

he was born sick...he had heartworms. parasites living in his hearts and lungs. he was not meant to live long..but i took care of him as long as I can so he knew he was loved

this is him getting his asthma medicine :P

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qei-r58JYQM

[Call_Me_Miss_Imperfect]

Awwh, that's sooo sad :(

[kayla]

LMFAO how hilarious

[Secret Lullaby]

hahahahahahah LOVED IT!!!!

[Crazy Cat Man]

isn't that cute kitten a jerk? :P

[Secret Lullaby]

haha mine is the SAME way(:

[Crazy Cat Man]

my cat Cholo was a jerk sometimes lol....but he just didnt like getting picked up. u have to let him sit on your arm. then he feels safe and observes :P i should post the youtube video of him

[Crazy Cat Man]

I just posted a video of my deceased cat :P check it out

[Secret Lullaby]

ok I will