Grown Up

As a child
I smiled and played
Laughing at all the jokes
That I heard.
Not understanding
Why my parents
Would tell me not to laugh at that
Or what was really behind
All the 'innocent' games
I loved to play.

As I grew
I smiled less
And I laughed
Less.
Finally understanding
What was really there
Which was hidden before-
Behind my innocence.

As I grew
I started to understand
The truth
The ugly
Ugly
Truth.
And I wondered
How had I
Not seen that before?

As I grew
I started to desire
The past.
My childhood.
Back when I was innocent.
Back when I thought everything was
Funny.
Peaceful.
Happy.
Perfect.

All grown up
I started
To smile
And laugh.
Because even though I
Knew the truth
I knew
I must stay happy
In this place.

Just do what I can
To make this world
Into the peaceful
And joyful
World
That I once saw
As a child.