A Teenage Love Story

A teenage boy finds love at the age of 14 and awaits for her to return.

People say that at the age of 14 no one can feel what real love is or that will be able to find the person that they are destined to be with. They are wrong. As a high school freshman you don’t think that the last home varsity football game will change your life forever, but for me it did.

It was a cool Friday night, with a clear sky and a million stars in the sky like any other day, I never taught that by 11 pm that night I would be find the one true love for me and the girl that one day I wish to marry. That day changed my life completely.        

We had been really good friends since the 4^th grade, we lost contact right after elementary school after we both went our separate ways. The only times we saw each other was one our schools played each other in football. Every time I saw Peyton during those 3 years, I got an indescribable feeling and started to feel things I have never felt for any other girl before when we hugged. We would talk and completely ignore the whole game. She would go off to talk and say hi to other friends from elementary school, and I would just sit there and anxiously await her to return. At the end of the night we would say goodbye and go our separate ways, but I knew that every day I didn’t see her was a day closer to the next time we would meet.

On that 3^rd and finally year of middle school she told that she would be attending the same high school as me, and that we would see each other every single day. I felt so much joy that I didn’t know what to say, so I just gave her a huge hug and said “That’s Awesome!!” I anxiously waited for the summer to be over and to finally be in high school, where I would get to see the most beautiful girl on the face of the earth.

Every time I walked down the hallways and caught a glimse at her, it was like she was the only person on that croweded hallway, and it was as if a spotlight was shine down on her. We hugged and flirted a little every day until that marvelous yet devastating Friday night of our last home football game. We were both athletes; she played basketball and volleyball that year, and I played JV football, it was a great excuse to see each other. She was there at every football game she could and I was there at every volleyball game I could. After every game we would hang out and talk with friends, but something changed for my last 2 games leading up to the finally Varsity football game.

Those last two games we would spend the time either hugging each other, me with my arm around her, holding her by the waist or simply holding hands. I didn’t know what to think about it first, because every time someone saw else like that and asked us if we were together we looked at each other and said “Nah, we are just friends” and then smiled at each other. I didn’t know what to feel, I was confused and hesitant about try to go into a new relationship. The year before my best friend of 2 years had said she really liked and wanted to be more then friends, it caught me off guard but I finally started to feel the same about her. We soon realized our relationship could not be possible. Her parents did not approve of her dating a Mexican, yea who would think that there were still racist Texans, crazy right? It was the worst day of my life, well, up to that point, because I actually felt like I loved her. After that we stopped talking and the most devastating thing was that our friendship vanished. I soon realized that our friendship was over because I fell for her. That day I made a promise to myself, not to date my friends again, and I intended to keep that promise.

The Thursday of my last JV football game, we hung out and talked after the game. At the end of the night we promised to hang out at the Varsity football game that Friday night. We met each other at the stadium and hung out the whole time. It seemed like a normal day, little did I know that it would become one of the greatest and worst days of my young life.

It was close to the half of the first quarter when we found each other, she ran to me and screamed my name as she did so, when she finally reached me we hugged, that hugged marked the beginning of the greatest day of my life. We basically spent the whole second quarter hugging in one of the corners of the stadium, we had a pretty good view from there. When we hugged I felt like that as long as I was with her nothing could ever be wrong, it just felt right to have her in my arms. We were silent while we hugged, the only thing heard was her breathing on my ear and it was the most wonderful thing ever. It was as if the whole stadium was empty and her and I where there stading alone, it was a magnificent moment.

          During the half time we were walking around and we stopped under the stairs of the commentators’ booth, we held each other again, but this time it was different; I held her in my arms for a few seconds and then gazed at each other’s eyes. I had in front of me a beautiful and amazing girl that I was falling in love with, and went in for the kiss. It was the best feeling in the world. I felt butterflies in my stomach and her sweet soft lips against mine and knew right then that she was the only person I ever wanted to kiss. A kiss turned to us making out and honestly I felt like that kiss was my heart telling my brain to never let her go and telling it that it was the girl that I would be with forever. After that kiss we held each other tighter for about another minute, it was the greatest feeling in the world to hold her in my arms. I still had a weird feeling of “what if”, what if we can’t be together, what if our friendship suffers the effects of it all in the end?

          The night went by, we kissed and made out a few more times before the game ended. We hugged goodnight and went our separate ways. When I got home I got a text message from her that said “I had a great time tonight.” I replied “Me too ;)” That last text I sent marked the end of my greatest day and the beginning of my worst.

          I started thinking about what I had promise myself a year ago to not fall for a friend again but it happened and it was something I had to deal with. We texted the rest of the night and I kept thinking about the disappointment and hopelessness I felt the year before. Before going to sleep I decided that it would be best to just be friends with her. I was not ready to get my heart broken again if things didn’t work out. I sent the text message that I’ve regretted sending for the past 4 years, “I think that we should just be friends. Our friendship is more important to me.” I was the worst mistake of my life, because she we avoided each other and things between us completely changed. We stopped talking, we would go different ways to avoid each other on our way to classes. I still regret that night after the game because it completely changed my life for the worse.

          I avoided her because, I felt that the feelings would go away. I was wrong those feelings never disappear they were just hiding out until our senior year. For the next three years I did not get into any relationships, I always made up an excuse not to date a girl even if she was perfect. I tried my best to screw things up with girls on purpose and it worked I was single all my high school years. I barely talked to her during those three years of high school and the first semester of our senior year. Senior year came around and I meet a new girl, Brooke, in my English class. I became really good friends with her, and sound realized that I became friends with her best friend. When I meet Brooke I did not know they even knew each other. I kind of developed a crush for her and would come watch her basketball games every week. Every game I saw them both there and started to remember all the wonderful memories that I had of Peyton. I keep telling myself that I had no feelings for her anymore and that her Brooke could be my first high school lover. What I didn’t realize was that this crush that I had on Brooke would help bring back the hiding feelings I had for Peyton. It was like a sign from the universe that I should try to make things right for her.

          After a basketball game I would congratulate both of them and that lead for me and Peyton to start talking again. When we talked I felt like we had never stopped, I still had that same feeling I had four years ago. We eventually started to start talking again. Things were kind of weird between us and I decided to give her an explanation about what happened our freshman year, it was really hard for me to do that, but we both opened up and told each other how we felt. I felt a lot better and we decided to be friends. Every day that I talked to her I felt even more for her. Brooke told me Peyton was starting to get feelings for me and kind of wanted me to ask her to Prom. I decided to give a shot. Things didn’t work out like I hoped they would, she was not ready to give it a shot again. I was hear broken for a while, but in the end I was happy that we still talked and were able to stay friends. A few weeks later I found out that she had feelings for one of my best friends. I was pissed, not at them, but at myself because I let such a gorgeous girl walk out of my life. I talked to Brooke about and in the end knew that if Peyton was happy I would be happy too, no matter what. Before she started liking my friend I had ask her to go with me to my soccer banquet and she said yes and we had a great time and taught maybe she started to like me again.

          A week later after banquet, I found out she was dating my friend. My friend and I stopped talking for a while but eventually got our friendship back. It made me sad every time I saw him and Peyton together and tried to avoid them when they were together. About a month went by and they broke up, I felt relieved and hopeful that someday the girl that I fell in love with would be with me. Graduation party came around and Brooke and Peyton were both there and I hung out with both the whole night it was awesome. Brooke mentioned to me that we, mostly me, were flirting; I guess I can’t help it but flirt with the girl I fell in love with.

          We are both going off to college in a few months, but I’m still hopeful that I will eventually get to be with her. I am anxiously waiting for her to walk in to my life again wanting to give us a chance.

Author's Note

Ignore Grammar Problems.
Feedback is very much appreciated.

Reviews

[DoormanDan]

I'm going to be honest, these kind of stories just aren't my cup of tea. I'm more a fan of fantasy, action, and symbolism, not romance. However, just know that my preferences are not going to affect my review of your story, as one man's tastes never makes something else wrong or bad.

As far as the story itself goes, this feels more like a journal entry than an actual story(which, if that was what you were going for, you did well for the most part). I was going to mention a few grammar problems, but then I read your author's note, so I'll decide to just move along. In my unprofessional(and quite possibly wrong) opinion, there's too much describing what happened rather than letting the audience experience what happens. I wasn't able to connect much with the character's other than the one who is telling his story(and even then, I didn't really care much for him by the time I got to the end). I feel that you have nailed the idea, and have done so very well, but I feel that you should try perhaps adding more actual action and have less summarization of the action, if you know what I'm saying.

Aside from those things, there is one more semi-major(actually probably leaning more towards minor) problem with this story; it is littered with numerous typos. 98% of them are very small, and I can still tell what you are saying, but a few of them are more noticeable and confusing. I'll list some of the typost hat I happened to notice below;

"People say that at the age of 14 no one can feel what real love is or that will be able to find the person that they are destined to be with." At the part " that will be able to find the person", it should be "that nobody will be able to find the person that they are destined to be with"

"I never taught that by 11 pm that night I would be find the one true love for me and the girl that one day I wish to marry. That day changed my life completely. " At the beginning, it should be "thought" not "taught".

On that 3rd and finally year of middle school she told that she would be attending the same high school as me," It should be "final", not "finally"

"She was there at every football game she could and I was there at every volleyball game I could" It should be "could be at" and not "could".

I held her in my arms for a few seconds and then gazed at each other’s eyes. It should be "and then gazed into her eyes" or "and then we gazed into each other's eyes". I would recommend using the first one for this, since your main character is talking about her.

I was the worst mistake of my life, because she we avoided each other and things between us completely changed. There are two mistakes here; you accidentally left out a t at the beginning and said "I was the worst mistake of my life"(I made that same typo once, funny how that works, isn't it?). The second one is "because she we". It should just be "because we".

Senior year came around and I meet a new girl, Brooke, in my English class. There is a tense error in this(although it was probably more just a typo). It should be "I met a new girl", not "I meet a new girl".

There are a few more extremely small, insignificant typos in the story, but I decided just to list all of the ones that really stuck out to me. If this review does sound mainly negative, then I apologize because I don't mean for it to be like that(it's just the way I wrote it, that's all). The core part of your story is solid, and I would say that you are very good with descriptions. In my opinion, you just need to expand your idea a bit more. Don't let this one review discourage you, because I do think that you are a good writer. Just keep writing and take the feedback(whether it be good or bad) as it comes. If you get praise(which I know you will, and you deserve some praise), be happy about it, but don't let it get to your head. If you get criticized(in a beneficial way that is), take the steps required to improve your work and show those critics who's the meatball in this bowl of spaghettios (I havea weird way of saying things, I know). And if you get purely destructive criticism, flat out ignore it. Those kind of people are saying those mean things just to get you down, and you can't let that happen. With that said, I wish you the best of luck with writing. Persevere and never give up. If you do that, you WILL make it far, believe me. :)

[misha]

Your usual teenage story XD Simple and cute with some grammar problems such as spelling and sentence errors that made it difficult to understand at times. Other than that, it was a good beginning piece =)