Mother Nature's Wondrous Entity

I had it. I lost it. I fear it. I run from it.

I keep holding on,
and hoping in time,
we can bury all this pain,
and wake something inside.

Wake something inside
that used to be,
a warm and fiery spark,
between you and me.

You and I were beautiful,
surviving together through hurt,
holding each other up,
with love and sacred words.

Those loving and sacred words,
no matter how hard I try,
barely on my tongue's tip tingle,
barely beat or come alive.

Our love was once alive,
holy with its own divinity.
Our hearts and souls entwined,
Mother Nature's wondrous entity.

This entity,
silken and gold,
grew weak with strain,
rusted and old.

Rusted and old it collapsed,
yet there is unrequieted love.
Fathoms and fathoms of mirth,
the light and joy expunged.

The light was glowing,
passionate and warm,
for now it resides,
in our hearts worn.

Worn out and tired,
weak with miles apart.
Our bonds of silk severed,
a festering cleft to heart.

This cleft dulls my love,
floating away on grains of sand...
It slowly frays and fades with time,
crushed under weight, no longer can it stand.

Author's Note

Does the rhyme sound too forced?

Reviews

[alesuriko]

For me the rhyme didn't sound forced because I didn't really see any rhyme to this poem. "on / pain", "time / inside", "inside / spark", "beautiful / up" None of those rhyme. Rhyme is really a term to be used when you have pattern of rhyme in a poem, sure some of your lines rhyme like "apart / heart" but those very few lines that rhyme feel like they're coincidental and completely natural. But I don't think you have enough rhyme to consider this a rhyming poem.

But, without looking at the rhyme, the content of this poem is great. I don't like romance/love poems but I like the imagery in this, very detailed and vivid. Nice use of words, especially with the line "a festering cleft to heart" I really enjoyed that line. Several of the images you present in this piece feel rather decadent, which I love. Especially the description behind rust and festering. Well done.

[An owl on the moon]

There is such a moving, bittersweet river flowing through your words.. the expressions of deepest love that once was.. the longing to embrace that love again... Beautifully voiced.

[MiidniightSoul]

Wow this is such a great poem. Powerful, stunning, beautiful. Amazing.

[Randy`s Princess]

forced no no no it`s a nice flow well I think it is anyway emotive again see your not void at all this is right on the button again Gage nice work :)