My Daughters Story

Chiko was alone in the world until one day he stumbled upon Chiyo, a young girl who looks oddly like him. But when am old enemy starts trouble he will have to choose between death or her forever.

Chapter 1

Meeting

 “Lord Chiko what are you looking for?” ‘Lord Chiko has been to every village in this region i wonder what he is looking for.’

 “I’m not sure Rai”

‘There is something about this area that is familiar to me but what is it’

All of a sudden a dark object jumped from the bushes, Chiko ready to strike the object, but hesitate, a young girl stands in front of him, drenched in blood and breathing hard.

“Help me! Please”

Chiko runs to her side and begins to pick her up and carry her but then he heard the faint sound of horse’s feet stomping towards them. He stands with the girl in his arms. Her long silver hair turned red from the blood. She was sleeping peacefully; Chiko stares at the girls face and slowly walks back to Rai and laid her down. He moved a lock of hair from her face ‘is this the thing that i have been looking for’ “Take care of her Rai” he then stood up, turned, his back was to them and walked away. He walked until he saw the horsemen coming, stopped and brought out his sword. There were six of them and they were riding hard and fast. He let the first two pass him, then in a single motion jumped up and cut the second two down. Both body’s hit the ground, their heads rolling away from there body’s. Then before landing again he jumped on air and sliced throw the third horseman. Then landed with his back toward his enemy, the three remaining horsemen were turned facing him. They charged and one by one they fell, the last of the horsemen came, Chiko jumped and kicked the man with his left foot. The man hit the ground hard; Chiko was on him in seconds.

“Why were you chasing the girl?”

“she ran away from my lord” the man managed to say throw blood oozing out of his mouth, he broke at least three ribs and one of his lungs were felling up with blood. Chiko felt his stomach and could tell he was running out of life.

“Who’s your master, were can I find him?”

“….Go...Ro….eg.ah” was all the man could say before his lungs exploded from too much pressure from the blood build up.

Chiko stood and began to walk back towards Rai and more importantly the girl.

 Once he got there he picked the girl up and then walked back to his camp, he laid her down and began cleaning her. He began with her face, after wiping it down he noticed there were four purple triangles on her face. Two on each cheek, they extended from her hair line to the middle of each cheek. ‘this girl has the same markings on her face as I do’ he thought, then picked her up again and took her to a stream, he took off her three top layers of cloths, so that she was just in her under cloths and then laid her in the water so she could soak then went down stream a few feet and began washing her cloths. Once all of the blood and dirt was washed out, he laid then over tree limbs to dry. Then walked over to the water’s edge undressed until he was in his under cloths then sat beside the girl. He picked up the girls hair and began washing all the blood out of it. After she was clean he picked her up and laid her on his kimono, he then started to twist her hair into a bun but then noticed that she had long pointed ears, as does he.

‘This girl is so much like me, how can this be?’

Rai sets in a shadow of a tree watching in disgust, ‘why is he taking such a liking to her, and why does she look so much like him?’

Then Chiko started tending to her wounds, he unwrapped her from her kimono and looked over her body. There were many cuts and scrapes on her midsection, and a large gash in her back that looked like a sword or spear pierced it. However it seemed to have been inflicted on her many years ago. There was a large deep cut in her leg, he wiped it in herbal cream and wrapped it in fabric. He then rubbed the cream on the various cuts on her body. After she had been medicated and was stirring in her sleep Chiko rapped her up in his kimono and laid her down under a big oak tree, he sat with his legs extended and crossed, with her sitting on his lap and her head against his chest. They sat there for a long time, until it was dark, they slept all through the night and the next morning Chiko awoke to the girl squirming under his arms. He looked down and she was still fast asleep, he then lifted her and sat her on the ground, stood and walked into the woods. Over his shoulder he said       

“Rai watch over the girl I will be back in a few hours”

After his master had disappeared into the woods he walked over to the girl and sat down beside her, his big round eyes studying her.

He moved some of her hair out of her face then studied her for a while.

“You do look like him” he said, then he removed one side of Chiko’s kimono off the girls shoulder, he studied her arm. It had purple lines running down it, which twirled and seemed to dance on her skin. “Chiko as marks like these down his arms to” He tucked her arm back into the kimono, and then went to her legs. He lifted the kimono off her legs and there were similar designs on her legs, he covered her back up and started pacing in front of her. “How can this be, how can this be?” he walked to the nearby stream and peered into the water at his reflection, his long green ears, big snake like eyes, and green skin looked frightening. Even the water stirred from his face, he hit the water and cursed at it. Then fell onto his back, and he then fell asleep in the worm sun.

Hours past and Rai was deep in dreams when he was rudely awakened by something cold, the cold consumed him. He woke up moaning and dripping wet, “Where is she!?” he heard a force in the distance and knew right away who it was, Lord Chiko! “What she’s sleeping soundly under the tree” he then felt a hard force grab his small head, five sharp finger nails dug into his skin. He was lifted off the ground and turned toward the tree. The girl was no were to be found “I…..I, she was sleeping right there when I went to sleep, which wasn’t too long ago. She couldn’t have gotten far.”

“For your sake she had better not” he said throw a snarl, his eyes were red and his teeth sharped to a point.

“Well what are you waiting for go and find her” Chiko said as he dropped Rai and then he turned and jumped into the air, then landed a few feet away. 

Rai was left standing there, he walked over to the tree were the girl used to be sleeping. ‘Looks like she took his kimono as well, no wonder he’s so mad she’s a thief’ then he noticed there were foot prints leading away from the tree, he followed them. They lead him to the woods, he heard a rustle in the trees, and he looked up and saw the girl coming down on him. The girl pounced him, landing straight on him, there was a loud crunch and Rai let out a loud yelp. She rolled him over, and looked at him with disgust.

“Who are you? What do you want, where am I and where are my clothes?”

“I’m Rai, you are not far from the town Klum and your cloths are on that tree over there”

“How did I get here and whose cloths am I wearing?”

“My lord brought you here and you’re wearing his kimono”

“Where is your lord now?”

“Out looking for you”

“Why?”

“I don’t know, but he’s been taking care of you the past two days, so how about some respect”

She hit him hard, he blacks out and then she starts walking to the tree were her cloths were, when she heard a voice.

“Stop!”

She slowly turns to see a man standing beside Rai; he’s very handsome, with his long silver hair. His strong body and deep amber eyes tell a story of their own, a story of pain.

“What do you want?” she says annoyed

“Don’t move” he replied

“You’re not the boss of me, you can’t tell me what to do”

“Quite frankly I don’t care what you do so long as I get my kimono back”

“Oh well here you can have it” she takes off the kimono and throws it at him; she is still in her under cloths. This is a simple strapless white dress which goes about to her knees.

“There happy” she then turns toward the tree and begins putting on her kimonos. She starts with the bottom, a plain white one and then the second, a light pink one. But the other is more see threw with decretive flowers but it was stained with blood, so she leaves it. She then turns and walked towards him. “Who are you and what do you want?” she asks

“Who I am is not important, but who you are is. If you haven’t noticed you and I look alike and I want to know why so I’ll ask the questions”

“Hen, ok but if you step out of line don’t think I won’t hesitate to…” she began to say but was cut off by his first question.

“What’s your name and why were those men chasing you?”

“Because I ran away from my Lord, so he sent them after me and my name is Chiyo, it means eternal.”

“Why did you run away?”

“Because living there was horrible, full of pain and misery and I hated it”

“Why was it so bad?”

“I have been an indentured servant since I was 17, I’m 23 now, anyway last month I noticed the Lord watching me and soon I was forced to marry him. However he couldn’t because there’s a law here that humans can’t marry…..”

“Half demons” He says but then noticed that she was on the verge of crying ‘my words hurt her deeply’ Chiyo looks up at him with tears in her eyes, and through a squeaky voice

“Yes”

“I see but continue”

“Well he married me anyway because he didn’t know I was half demon and everything was great! You see ever since I was young I wore makeup to cover my marks. And my husband would have never had known but one day I was bathing in the palace. My servant was helping me and I told them I don’t like my face getting wet but my servant accidently wet my face. My makeup came off and she ran and told my husband. At first he didn’t care but then he found out that we couldn’t have me because of the laws of the land. I think he lost his mind, he said “if I can’t have you, no man can.” So he set the date I was to be killed, I was to be burned at the stake. However by so random fate demons attacked the fort. In the fight I got away but I was badly injured in the escape.”

“I see, well why were you bleeding so badly when I found you?”

“well after I got away I ran into what seemed to be nice people but turns out they were really evil demons, they tried to kill me but I…..I fought back and got away. However I was injured in the fight, that’s why I was so bloody”

“By the amount of blood you had lost, that must have been some fight.”

“Well it and from the demons at the castle I must have lost a lot of blood. Plus they were very powerful but I guess I was strong enough to stop them from hurting me badly.”

“That’s another thing you said they were demands, how could you have taken on even a small demand and live to tell the tail?”

The girl looked up with a worried face and said in a low voice

“I overpowered them”

“How is this possible?”

“Well even though I’m a half demand I still have powers that most demands would kill to have.”

“How did you get these powers?”

“Well the old villagers say that my mother was the most beautiful woman in the region, but she was very poor and worked as a servant. One day she was in the woods collecting wood when she came across a handsome young man lying against a tree. She went to him; he was hurt badly, so she helped him, he was unconscious for the longest time. She moved him to her small hut and took care of him until he awoke. The villagers said after he woke up they fell in love and had me, but it wasn’t meant to last. Soon after he arrived many demands started to show up and the village was getting smaller and smaller, until one day he left without warning. The baby girls grow up with her mother, until her mother died from disease spread by traveling gypsys. The girl was put into a foster home until when she was 17, then the day came that the lord came and took her away to live with him in his fort.”

When the girl finished she looked at Chiko, he was crying ‘what’s wrong with this guy? He’s acting really weird’ he stares at her with watery eyes and says “I’m so sorry.”

 

Reviews

[Jim Parson]

An interesting and unique story, Loona. It really grabs the reader right from the start. I would suggest slowing it down a bit though and giving more detail. Provide us with some descriptions so we can see what you see instead of having to create all the scenery in our own minds. I also suggest that you show us instead of tell us. For most of the story, it's like, "this happened and then this happened and then this happened." Weave your tale instead so we can see it ourselves instead of just having you tell us what's happening. Know what I mean? I'll be interested to read more!