The beginning of a story?? (Is it good?)

A possible beginning to a fiction novel I began writing.. Work needed!

As I leaned down to look among the ashes, I pulled out my father's favorite golden pocket watch. The snow falling around me then seemed ironic and pointless. Moments before, as I ran through the woods without a care in the world, I was thinking of the fun, playful, innocent nature of snow. Then, standing among the only remaining piece of the place I had called home for 16 years, I made a vow. I would not stop. I would not rest. Until they were all dead.

Author's Note

Please leave a review and tell me what you think.. Is it attention grabbing? Any ideas on revision? Whatever you think!! Thanks in advance! :)

Reviews

[Eliott]

It is very attention grabbing and interesting. I would like to read more :)

[Jordan's Back]

Suspenseful, a Vengeance write. Most people are taken with Suspense thrillers it might be worth pursuing.

[randomreader2]

2 be hnest i liek it alot n al. i liek the end with teh part wwher it makes u tink of wat she meen