Observing

Longer chapter.

I've always been fearful of being left alone. where there would be no one on my side and I would be riding solo on this road trip they call life. Up until now, to be honest, I thought that's how life worked. Your on your own and you can't trust anyone but yourself. Your going to get stabbed in the back, or worse; in the front, when you started trusting people with your secrets and your stories. but that's how life went. and i was always such a strong believer on this. I always judged people on the way they looked. or the things they've done or where they've been. Not on who they are now. I mean, I guess I realized this was wrong when peopled did this to me. they believed the rumors they had heard and judged me on my family's past. The few that actually knew that part of me, that is.

 

LIke this boy that had been in my study period that year. He was a grade above me, so I didn't know him very well but I seemed to know everything about him just by listening. His sister and I were friends but she never really talked about him. It was almost as if she didn't need to though. Everyone knew him. For his past and what all he had done. His girlfriend and he had sex all the time. So many times, we were all losing count. So of course he was known for being a player and only wanting to get into her pants. That's what he was known by. Of course, being the tallest kid in the school, he was pretty hard to miss. He wasn't bad looking either. He would tower about everybody and just wear a smile so big. crack jokes. He was funny in his own witty, immature way.I respected that he could be so confident when his whole life was exposed. Anyways, he sat in front of me that whole year. I would always smirk at how he could barely fit into the tiny desks. He sometimes caught me and would glare at me, making me thinkg I would 'pay for that' . But then he would smile and laugh at how frightened I had looked. it was kindof a game that we played. We got along in a sense. He would turn around during class and whisper my name, then start cracking up at how badly he had scared me. He'd wink at me when I was doing homework and moan my boyfriend's name. He was funny. and he made me smile. I didn't know why he did the things he did, but it didn't exactly matter to me. Seeing as i couldn't ever picture myself with him. He was just someone I knew, and waved to in the hallways. He was very popular, not exactly me speed. But i saw something in him.