Peices

The news had hit me like a fast train. I was the railroad. It had run me over and left me behind to fade away to just a distant memory. I didn’t believe it at first. I got a text saying “I need to talk to you” I knew that never ended up good . a knot formed in my stomach that just wouldn’t  go away. I hated this feeling. Hated the feeling of feeling like I was thrown away, walked all over, and betrayed. They told me that he had been cheating on me the whole time we were together. With numorous girls, and that they were so sorry I had to find out that way. I was sorry too. I never doubted what they had said. I knew they were truthful with me at all times and wouldn’t make something up like that. I just didn’t WANT to believe it. I wanted to call them a liar and hate them for it and move on with my story of a life. But I knew that I couldn’t do that. They were telling me the truth and I was going to have to accept it one way or another. I texted him the longest message that I’ve ever typed to someone in my life.. and laid in bed to cry. I wouldn’t return anyone’s calls when they found out. Reply to any texts. Emails. Facebook notifications. Nothing. I shut myself out from the rest of the world. I couldn’t find my way. I was lost and all faith had been sucked out of me. I told myself I would never fall for someone again. I would never trust a boy ever again. I was done with them. But I knew I wouldn’t follow this. I would get hurt again and it would suck.. again. He admitted to what he had did and begged me not to leave but I decided that it was time to have some pride and suck it up. I was going to be done with him. I was going to live without him and I was going to have to just get over it. It would be awful, and heartbreaking, but it would be worth it. He now hates me if your wondering. We don’t speak at all and he talks very badly about me. Which I don’t mind because I talk badly about him as well. We bump into each other all the time and mostly, I just want to punch him in the face. I can’t stand to even look at him. He did do me a lot of good though through our 1 year on and off relationship. His friends are now some of my own, and a girl that he had cheated on me with is now my best friend. I hated her at first, but then got to know her after everyone had won her over. She moved here that year and was new to everything but she had it all on lock. I think I honestly hated her so much to begin with because I was insanely jealous of her. She was gourgeous and she had every guy going after her. That part didn’t bother me, because all of them were my best friends, but I was still one to be jealous of it. My friends were always talking about her and I would get so annoyed. One of my best friends invited her to stay with us one night and I absolutely fell in love with her. I felt like I had finally found someone that I could be able to hang out with and be myself around because our personalities contrasted so well with one anothers. To this day, I am still jealous of the way she looks and I think that she is one of the most honorable people that I have ever met.