You win

I had given up on being “perfect” I was beginning to realize that no one can attain perfection. I looked in the mirror and decided that everything wasn’t about me, and I wanted to make others happy as well. Help people. I really wanted to help people, and I wanted to dance. Get back to the thing that I loved. I chose to go to an old dance studio that I grew up in. The place that brought dance to me. I loved it there. They were family. I was so excited for it. I would be competing and being on a squad where I was the oldest. I liked the idea of it. Being able to be a leader. But I realized that things maybe wouldn’t go the way I wanted them to go. I didn’t want to give up, but I felt like I had to. I wanted to destroy the people that were talking about me and use every word in the book while I did it. More and more rumors spread. Guys were constantly asking my brother if I “put out” and older boys would talk about me on x-box and other places. My brother had always been protective. My best friend. So he hated this as much as I did. He stopped telling people that I was his sister just to get away from it all. I lost a lot of friends that year. Girls started talking very badly about me and spreading rumors that were so convincing, I even started to believe them myself. Of course they weren’t true.. but none the less.. convincing. I guess you could say that I really started to change. I missed a lot of school just because I didn’t want to go. I was sick of people I didn’t even know giving me dirty looks. Whispering as soon as I passed them in the hallway. I felt so uncomfortable with it all. I hated it. I stopped caring about a lot of things. I lost my best friend that year and I miss her more than anything. We drifted apart. It was horrible, but I guess it happens to the best of us.