Searching

Jane was searching. Searching for answers. For an explanation, she was searching for the silver lining in this situation. She cursed the dark cloud that followed her around. Raining on her and reminding her everywhere she went, of the situation she was stuck in. When she was younger, she was always told to never care what people thought of her. She tried to go by this, but most times found herself caring too much and pleasing other people even if that meant making herself be stuck with more unhappiness. It was a flaw she was trying to work around, but it wasn't working at this particular time. Jane felt lost and confused. Had no one to turn to. She didn't want to be a burden on her father. He was already struggling, apparently being a single dad and trying to raise a 6, a 10, and a 16 year old wasn't easy. He didn't talk much, her father. Besides to ask her to watch her little sister while he had to go to work or needed to get away.Jane always wondered what he was doing when he left the house for a few hours at a time. Where he went.. The favors started coming around more and more frequently. Jane's siblings and she started recieving more and more presents from their family members. Teachers pitties them. All of them. She would come home to a house that smelt of alchohal.. pill bottles sitting on the table. She wanted to ask her brother why he was yelling. What was wrong. Where he had gotten those scars and bruises.. but she didn't. She didn't dare ask him. She was so afraid he would hurt her if she did. He wasn't himself.. No one was.. Jane wanted to dissapear. To run as fast and far away as she possiobly could so maybe she could hear herself think for even a second. That's all she wanted. Things were happening in blurs lately. Too quick to realize what's even going on. Like a bad movie, but she had no time to worry about this. She had to go play mommy with her little sister, while their mommy was gone.