Surfing

A short poem about my ultimate love to surf and how i see water as the ultimate sum of life.

Forever stuck with the sound of Adam’s ale breaking

As the finger tips feel the swell

Relentless fluidity of movement, it has been aching.

It could forever dwell

 

Dehumanised because it has lost notion of language

It is and is not

Forever in the sea, lives as a savage.

It will travel kilometres for the right spot.

 

They reach their apex, and they break

They have emotions, and they react

It sees their beauty if it knows what’s at stake

It forever knows and loves and will never retract

 

It becomes as raw as nature gets

It understands it is nothing but nature

It does nothing but ride the glass sculpture

Reviews

[Michelle N. H.]

This is a great tribute to the sea. You describe the waves vigorously, and I sense the strong force of nature within the lines. It's as if the ocean becomes a living being through your words, present and conscious, as if it has feelings and thoughts of its own. I adore it :)

[Raymond Federle]

Wonderfully deep and thought provoking. Excellent imagery. Well done!

[Coyote Poetry]

I was born in Michigan. I went to California at 33 years old and never surf. The Surfers like me. I like good beer and conversation about life, music and poetry. I didn't brag or compared. They tried to teach me to surf. I was too old and the Army broke down my body already. They gave me a suicide board and showed me I could dance with the ocean. No balance and all. I did the suicide boarding with the three Winters storms. I understood the surfer. One on one with the sea. I like the poem. People who challenges the sea, free climb and desire to test life. They will know peace in old age. I enjoyed the poem. Took me back to the good days being near the sea and the great storms of Winter. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Allen Smuckler]

Victor....
and.....feel like something is missing....
oh wait, the last line (actually the third line, final stanza)
I know...your poem...and a terrific one at that....but
you started the scheme abab (you did a great job with it....I might add. Totally unforced rhyming which never interfered with the message... ), you need to finish it (in my opinion)....it left me with an "and".......
Don't get me wrong...It works and I liked it..and if it was free form, I wouldn't have given it a second thought..it's a great final line/ image).
Thanks for a great write Victor
I hope I wasn't too critical. I really felt the exhilaration one must feel in the midst of a wake.
Allen

[James Hades]

Hi Allen, thanks for the critical feedback (always appreciated!). I will work on that, i can see what you're referring to, in the sense that it's an abrupt ending that could of been otherwise. :) many thanks!!

[Allen Smuckler]

please Victor...don't misunderstand...I don't believe the ending is too abrupt...I really think it works. My only critique was that I felt the third line was missing, based on the structure of the rest of the poem. take care...

[Odysseus Wanders]

Wow. Gorgeous read. You do a spectacular job of bring such life to the wave. "Dehumanised because it has lost notion of language" great line. You've some good poetic skills. ... ride the glass sculpture, nicely penned! Sound like you can surf too...!

[Nusquam Esse]

I have never been surfing, in fact I live in a desert, so it is an interesting idea for me. (Of course I have still been to the ocean) I think the 2nd paragraph could use a bit of work, but otherwise, the rest of this flows well and has a great feel to it. Kudos sir!

[James Hades]

Thank you! I will give the second paragraph some work :)