Wild Side

 

I've always hated the

mild side, the one without infinite

adventure, without deep

thought, without

reckless abandon, without

the risk of

losing

everything important in a

sweeping second, one

moment in

time

capable of meaning

the

entire

world.

 

I've always ventured into

the wild side

for no real reason except

I didn't have any choice

in the

matter.

It's in the way my poems

go and in the way

my body flows through the

law, through tradition,

through the street,

like it

isn't really there,

it's only a temporary

distraction.

Pay up, lose out, spend a night in

you-know-where. Alright.

Whatever.

The gains are too much to

miss out on.

Really.

 

Lou Reed said it best when he

said

Hey babe,

Take a walk on the wild side.

 

Sometimes it hurts,

I won't lie.

Sometimes the Devil tries to have his

way with you and

sometimes it's a shame

that things don't work out

so smoothly.

Hating your parents and

having them hate you

too causes unbearable

guilt and

immense pain,

yes.

 

But, sometimes it's worth it, knowing

that you have followed the

truth, your truth,

there is a different one in

all of us

and aiming for that kind of

intrinsic

self-satisfaction is all

you can really

do, isn't

it?

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Kara Emily Krantz]

i loved this poem - it really captured me.

" without

the risk of

losing

everything important in a

sweeping second"

that was amazing right there. damn. :) it caught me up in the words - the whole first half.

my only thought would be that towards the end you got a little ... less tight, less intense - and it became a little bit introspective, in the sense that it lose some of it's beat/flow/feeling, and became personal in teh way that we, as the reader, lose our investment.

just a thought :) but i think this is great and i'm adding it to my favorites. let me know if you ever edit it :) i'll definitely check it out

hugs

[fireblossom]

{Please don't get upset with me. I had some writer named Leah Simone on my case for trying to explain one of my poems. She got hostile...I am burnt. If you don't want real honest critique or dialog please let me know and I will delete this.}

The first stanza was delicious to me. It captured me. Great pace and shading. Then I lost touch. (see end of first stanza below)

I've always hated the
mild side, the one without infinite
adventure, without deep
thought, without
reckless abandon, without
the risk of
losing
everything important in a
sweeping second, one
moment in
time
capable of meaning
the
entire
world.

[Second stanza]
I've always ventured into
the wild side
{no choice no reason
running free
Like my poems go in the
way my body flows
burning past law, tradition,
street
like they aren't real
just temporary
distractions}

for no real reason except
I didn't have any choice
in the
matter.
It's in the way my poems
go and in the way
my body flows through the
law, through tradition,
through the street,
like it
isn't really there,
it's only a temporary
distraction.

Your poem left the "beat" feel the sweeping saga of life lived fast and changed to - explanation via text. Do you see it? From a vision moving like spilled paint to sitting in the parlor and you telling stuff about yourself.

It is all here however. You captured it all. You just need to edit the last part to match the vitality and originality of the first stanza. At least that's how it struck me.

I did an edit of the second stanza to show you its all there. You have it! You just posted one or two edits too soon. At least that's how I see it.

This might become a classic!

[Last Lying Look]

I love this poem! It's really good & so true!