Wallow

Wallow

~

There are little everyday moments

in a glass (or 2) of SoCo and peanut butter sandwichs that make

the whole long day worth it.

I realize this as I feel the familiar burn of

sweet paradise itching at my throat.

It doesn't shock me anymore like it used to,

but I still feel the wrath in the liquid, much like in my blood

No, I am not like you, not of your breed

I don't drink at parties, rather I do it when no one's watching

I just want to feel

numbed, as though someone sucked all the life and

low self-image

out of me

and made it go away for a while

made it see the other side.

The other side is rather warm and whimsical and doesn't play as many mindgames

as this one does

This one runs too hot and cold and never stays warm enough

to cure frostbitten limbs

Rather my feet get amputated by the cold, harsh wind

and shrivel at the sight of a

flame.

I sit here in all my feigned glory and judge those who are happier and

Mock those sleeping in their beds, comfortable

warm from love and orgasms

and I wallow in my own twisted

Mind, sipping quickly at my stolen drink