Cora's silent Strength

Title: Cora's Silent Strength

disclaimer: All characters are property of Julian Fellowes , ITV, and Masterpiece Theatre

Warning: spoilers for New Era

Summary:>Elizabeth Mcgovern as the Countess of Grantham says so much with a look. This story reveals her thoughts and feelings as she deals with a possible fatal illness, the death of her mother in law, and her husband's identity crisis.

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Cora sank into the bed of her sleeping berth, wrapping the blankets around her and sinking into te pillows. She reached for the light, turned it off and cried. She was exhausted and was realizing that perhaps traveling to France had been a bad idea, one she probably would repeat. She shuddered to think how Robert would have made it through this without her. It had been a nice treat although it had made her extremely weak. She had finally fallen asleep when the door opened and she heard Robert enter. "Darling, whatever are you doing in the dark?"

"What do you think?" she asked with a chuckle and reaching for the light on the nightstand, "trying to sleep."

He smiled, climbing into bed and wrapping his arms around her. Cora snuggled closer towards Robert's chest turning her head as if asking for a kiss. He obliged and turned off the light. "I'm sorry, darling." Cora said. 

"Whatever for?"

"Keeping this a secret from you and then dumping it  on you the way I did."

"Oh my darling, it's all right. You didn't dump anything on me, I just wish you told me sooner so you weren't dealing with such a burden in your own."

the trains motion and the feeling of his arms around caused Cora to fall into a deep sleep. She had remained strong through the visit to Sybbie's villa but it had cost her a lot. She was exhausted and perhaps a bit upset with herself for doing to much, but she would do the same if only to try to give Robert some happiness before she had to leave him.  She should have known it was going to be too much for him with all going on. She briefly had the courage when Edith spoke to her but by the time they started on their walk she almost lost her nerve, Robert must have noticed how quiet she was and she knew she looked tired, Maud and Edith pointed that out earlier today. With a sigh, she drifted off to sleep, dreaming of a future  that may not include her.

**********

Robert stood up after finishing his drink. "Are you all right, Papa?" Edith asked. He sighed. I spoke to your Mama." "She told you what's bothering her then?"

"You know?"

"Not what it is just that something was. She's been quiet and very tired this past month. I was getting worried so i suggested she speak to you."

"Yes, she did." He sat back down, took a breath, and told Edith everything.

**********

Robert was emotionally drained and thought he could talk to Cora a bit before bed. When he entered, all the lights were off. "Darling?"

Are you in here?" "I am, I am.” She said. “What are you doing?” He asked as he walked further into the room. “Sleeping.” She replied,  flipping on the light on her nightstand. "What else does one do in the dark?"   

H changed and climbed in beside her, wrapping his arms around her. "How do you feel?"

"Tired," she admitted. She wasn't going to keep anything from him at his request. He told her they were in it together and she loved him that much more. i love, Robert. So deeply."

"I love you, too," he said, kissing the top of her head. "

"Good," she said, smiling up at him.