Us

A short abstract story about a young girls spiritual transformation and the meeting of her spirit guide

        

Us

 

Part One: gaslight 

 

Citizen Number: 8304972118

 

        Her feet, hit the pavement. The black, hard, solid pavement. Her heavy boots set down with a satisfying clunk, repetitivley. Over and over, rhythmic. She only looks to the ground, to the continuous black tar ribbon. The buildings around her are thick and square, windowless blocks of cement or towering shining black superpowers. People rush by in a flurried blur of dark grays. Their faces are unfriendly and unhappy. Mothers pull children angrily as aggressive street sellers follow them. The only people that stay still are druggies, stoners, smoking in the gaslight alleys. She keeps walking. She has a purpose, she has somewhere to go. She doesn't want to go, though, the place she is going is dull. Step after step, she walks and walks. After checking her watch. She starts to run, she is late. 

 

Part Two:  heartbeat 

 

Homo Sapien

 

        As she runs, her breathing becomes quicker. Her heartbeat excellerates. It is not a strenuous run, and a short distance as well. She is twenty yards away from the dark restaurant with the blinding neon lights. When suddenly she feels it. A red fire, a life giver, an energy provider sparks inside her, and quickly swells through her. Suddenly she wants to run, and she finds that she can, fast. Some force drives her faster!! Suddenly the air clears, the world is harsh and exiting! The air is crisp and clear and cold and is sharp, it stings her in the most wonderful, most exhilarating way possible. An audible laugh escapes her lips as running turns to leaping, and leaping to twirling. She is dancing in the streets! Imagine! Imagine! Dancing!

 

Part Three: needles

 

Human Being

 

        Angry faces started collecting around her, she knew some of them, but they obviously did not know her, or if they did, they did not care. They began to spin, faster and faster, until they were just a sickening blaze of white, unnatural light. Pain filled her, and she fell to her knees. Quietly they started to chant something, it was as quiet as a whisper on the wind, almost not there. Slowly, Slowly it grew, faster and faster it went, until it became a tantamount battle chant. "Responsibility, You Chose It. Responsibility. Things Happen. No control. Things Happen. Responsibility, just take it." Again and again their words sent blunt aches of painfull fatigue through her body. She ran blindly and stumbling. She reached the city limits, the guards diverted thier eyes, and then... she was out of the city. Out of everything she ever had known. Stumbling, she felt soft, plush grass underneath her feat. And she sank to the ground.

 

Part Four: young

 

Tiger

 

        He saw her there. Crumpled and broken. Asleep. He knew immediately that she was the one, but she was so young! She looked maybe a few years more then a decade old. Little more than a cub! She lay in the fetal position, limp with exhaustion. Sheltering her were two weeping willow trees, dried from the summer sun they hung mournfull and mighty on either side of her, a creek. In fact they lined the river, which was slow moving and warm. The grass underneath stood yellow and plush. The environment was desperatley in need of rain, but still was beautifull, all in hues of yellow and white. He lay down beside her. His powerfull body settled and his soft plush fur touched her left side

 

Part Five: deep

 

myself

 

        When I woke up, I felt more connected with myself then I ever had. A strong warmth layed near me. The beings fur comforted my mind, and in my body all pain was gone. I opened my eyes. Not in the least bit suprised I was laying in the arms of my tiger. It was majesticly white with contrasting deep gray stripes. It was large and powerfull and it gazed at me with a mixture of wisdom and curiosity. Its eyes were sea blue and cloud gray, maching my own. I wasn't afraid of my tiger. It seemed so intellegent that as I spoke, it felt completely natural. It seemed that this wise creature was more pure and aware then anything had ever been. 

"Who are you?"

"I am who the gods have let me become. For you, I am your leader, your guide, companion, father, your tiger, your spirit."

"You are me?"

"Yes young one, our bond is so deep. Deeper than the roots of the largest tree, more brilliant than the sunset. So strong that we are not even different things."

"But..."

"Can't you feel it, young one?"

"Yes"

        I could feel it. It seemed that every particle of my being was his too. We grew stronger because we were one. United we were whole, Seperate, we functioned, but united we thrived.

 

Part Six: love

 

Us

 

        It began to rain, large fat raindrops slowly fell, cleansing us, purifying. We both rose to our feet. It was time to go back to the city, but this time, together, as one, whole. The walk was not long. We did it easily. The rain warmed and refresed us instead of chilling it was pleasant. We started to run. When we reached the city limits, and nothing blocked our way. We walked in. The faces didn't bother us. And as we walked the rain started to wash it all away. In the city's place was a wide countryside. Colors slowly blushed back in to the world. 

"I really cant believe it, what was bad is gone." I said gazing around

"Everything will not be good, there are always problems" He replied

"Why?.... How can I make everything good?"

"You can't."

"Can you?"

"Me? I am part of you, your wisdom, your teacher. I won't lead you to your paradise!" He chuckled

"Then what will?"

He considered for a while, gazing up to the sky. Finally he met my eyes.

"Love."

Author's Note

please comment, this is my first story and I want to hear your feedback!

Reviews

[Tara Murasaki]

The progression and alteration of the point of view was well done. There are a few spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors, nothing major, they don't take anything away from the story. I like the descriptions of the city, and the run. The dialogue is a little unreal feeling to me, but they doesn't make it bad. Also, the sudden turn around of the city in the final section was perhaps to sudden. Even meeting a spirit guide doesn't mean you are immediately finished learning. Perhaps when they return to the city, she should see it a little differently, but not that differently. That is just my thought, not a definite fact.