The Grim Raven

When an unliving creature ushers the dead...

Never was there a more perfect bird,
whose actions never seem too absurd.
Ebony wings and c**k of the head,
a feathered friend who migrates the dead.

A sentry of sorts, the guiding way,
ushering corpses so they can't stay.
How fitting a graveyard be his home,
with plenty of food he never roam.

Each life that passes must pay a toll,
the debt to be paid must be a soul.
To sustain his own life he must feed,
eating the dead is a nasty deed.

From high in his perch he can see all,
making sure there's no delay, no stall.
The flow of bodies must be steady,
for any uproar he is ready.

No one to trespass upon his land,
but ever ready to take a stand.
The raven will fight 'til he is gone,
the grim reaper but a mighty pawn.

He never stays dead for very long,
his body revived through raven song.
In his small murder he is the lead,
assisting the gone who are in need.

Author's Note

Questions, comments, concerns. This is a lengthy poem...sort of. I have a feeling there's more to be added to it. Also I know I repeat dead a lot, but there's no suitable substitute without reworking the whole line in some cases. Any feedback would be welcomed. =)
*The raven just happens to be my favorite bird, and a poem about one is long overdue. Although dark and somewhat gruesome I feel that this will be what I want it to be.
I think this new photo is more befitting of this poem.
*Credit to the artist.

Reviews

[Elliot Kyron]

Very good piece. I loved the last stanza especially: "He never stays dead for very long,
his body revived through raven song.
In his small murder he is the lead,
assisting the gone who are in need." Perfect ending and great wording for the whole thing! Just one thing. In the first stanza did you mean "too absurd"? "to" doesn't seem to fit. Other than that, I adored it!

[WingsToFly]

A very good poem. Enjoyed it.

[KeeD]

Wow, i'm like speechless. I've always appreciated Death God's, Grim Reapers, Soul Collectors and to see them be molded into a character, be given life, through your poem, so much respect for you. Very well written.

[Ebb and Flow]

Thank you very much! I am very good with this type of writing, and this is by far my favorite piece of anything I have written.

[KeeD]

Just yesterday I've tried to write something similar its going to be a 5 part poem i've written two so far telling a story about a girls journey through hell and back :D if you're ever free and can check it out and give me some critique since you're awesome at this stuff, much appreciated.

[Ebb and Flow]

I have no problem with that!! After I get my poetry stuff out of storage, I plan on doing one similar to this; only from the dead's side of the story. That one is proving a bit more difficult! Just let me know which piece and I have no problem helping out!!

[KeeD]

its Called Possession and part 2 is Eternal Damnation

[Ebb and Flow]

I will check them out!

[Godkrusher]

So far this is the best poem I've read in a long time.

[Ebb and Flow]

Thank you.

[Rob Santana]

A very strong piece. Great imagery,creative..

[Ebb and Flow]

Thank you! It is by far one of my better pieces.

[zainul]

Fabulous write.
You have used your amazing imagination to create this lovely piece.
The stanzas are well built and my favorite one is:
"No one to trespass upon his land,
but ever ready to take a stand.
The raven will fight 'til he is gone,
the grim reaper but a mighty pawn."

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

This is beautifully dark... I know the raven has long been associated with death and I believe it is the watcher of the down and out... but your description of this mysterious bird is captivating and eloquent with a touch of wit.

this is my favorite stanza...

Each life that passes must pay a toll,
the debt to be paid must be a soul.
To sustain his own life he must feed,
eating the dead is a nasty deed.

[The Raven King]

I liked the way you captured this Scandanavian/European facet of Ravendom. I feel your vision is being shackled a bit by the prison of rhyme. While ravens and rhyming go hand in hand, I believe your excellent narration would shine brighter if unfettered by a rhyme scheme. Very good poem.

[Nankoto]

I'm at a complete loss for words. This poem is absolutely amazing. I had to read it over multiple times just to grasp the whole story and concept behind. You are an amazing writer and it would be a horrid loss if you ever stopped. You've been given an amazing talent.

[Michael X]

breathtaking, and that is my firt impression, the opening description of
the birds character is such a word crafting image of splendor,
you've captured the dramatic agle, and the reader can fully visualize
the personality, the bird of graveyards, haunting and brilliant.
so may amazing lines :)
To sustain his own life he must feed,
eating the dead is a nasty deed.

[SilentDreamer]

What a great idea. Creative and filled with intruige. Great job!! 99/100