Hope

Written in a time of need. This is most importantly a poem of triumph over something that had me and someone pulled me through.

The weakness flooding through my tainted veins;

twisted turning these are my only pains.

The chaos, the destruction this is the life I chose;

screaming, running this is my strife, my pose.

My right, my will I pass unto none;

my honor my knowledge the past cannot be undone.

I stumble, I fall opening my eyes;

I fill with terror as my world falls to demise.

The tears they form, they fall down my pale smooth face;

I find suprise comfort in the arms of someones deep embrace.

It envelops; it surrounds my thin frail frame;

the darkness it surrounds all that is lame.

I look to find hope in the deep embrace of one I truely love;

he's kind, he's loving and sent from far above.

I turn from the world and look into his eyes,

they twinkle, they shine and all my sorrow flies.

I turn back to a devastated world of crushed belief,

fighting, and dying to bring relief.

The light it floods, it shines upon the blackened land;

I look up and see that outstretched hand.

From black and white the world floods to light, the war, the battle

may have been lost; but best of all I won the perilous fight.

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Suggestions and ideas welcome, but please remember this is a very personal poem.

Reviews

Hm... I see a few problems, the first of which is a minor spelling error:

"The choas, the destruction this is the life I chose;"

That ought to be "chaos", I'd assume. Otherwise, the line lengths fluctuate. For example;

"I turn back to a devistated world of crushed belief,
fighting, and dying to bring relief."

The first line is 14 syllables long, while the second is 9. The five syllable gap is jarring as the layout suggests a meter. There's also a spelling error here too; "devistated" should instead be "devastated". Those aside, the poem is quite engaging and emotional, I found it an interesting read.

[~*666 Draven Von Tepes ..]

I like it nice write how have u been?

[lauren emily]

This brought tears to my eyes. It is absolutely brilliant. I also think that this is perfect just the way it is, don't change a thing!
It's wonderful to have someone you love deeply come and comfort you in a time of need. They make all the pain fall away.
Once again, great job!
Keep up the good work,
Lauren