One with the Sun

One with the Sun

A Poem by Ebb and Flow
"

The warmth of the sun can be so inspiring.

"

So long I've waited for the obscene sun to break,

as it rises it rises with every breath I take.

So full, so round it gets higher and higher,

it floats upon the sky airless but on fire.

It gasps, it chokes for a breath of fresh air,

it spits it dies and its death was unfair.

Reduced to ash there is no light,

I breath deep and hard, but my chest is tight.

So long as I live the sun will rise again to its power and might.

© 2008 Ebb and Flow


Author's Note

Ebb and Flow
There was more to this poem, but in my honest opinion I think the rest is dumb and doesn't fit.

My Review

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sometimes my best pieces are the ones I cut in half & threw the other half away or used in another piece I think this is one of those pieces, I think when I write sometimes I start with one emotion or feeling or thought & after writing on it that feeling thought or emotion has changed so if I continue writing because I feel I am having a good 'flow' the piece from that point on doesn't 'fit' as you said but often it is still worth keeping amongst my many scraps of paper with random writings on them that sometimes piece themselves into another piece later on or find themselves in the trash 5 years later once I am willing to admit they are crap... I'm rambling I do apologize but I LIKE THIS PIECE & think it is descriptive, clever, artistic & true.

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Inspired! You created beautiful imagery with this one, and something I'm beginning to notice is that your poems all flow incredibly well. This was no exception. The rhyming was nice and made it feel almost as a prophecy. Excellent!

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

sometimes my best pieces are the ones I cut in half & threw the other half away or used in another piece I think this is one of those pieces, I think when I write sometimes I start with one emotion or feeling or thought & after writing on it that feeling thought or emotion has changed so if I continue writing because I feel I am having a good 'flow' the piece from that point on doesn't 'fit' as you said but often it is still worth keeping amongst my many scraps of paper with random writings on them that sometimes piece themselves into another piece later on or find themselves in the trash 5 years later once I am willing to admit they are crap... I'm rambling I do apologize but I LIKE THIS PIECE & think it is descriptive, clever, artistic & true.

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on August 6, 2008
Last Updated on August 9, 2008

Author

Ebb and Flow
Ebb and Flow

Milton Mills, NH



About
The names Krystina Michelle Walters Poetry is one of my soul passions in life. Without its passion I wouldn't understand the beauty of the written word or that beauty of this world. "Words have.. more..

Writing