Hope Someday...

A Poem Written For Parents (and siblings who care for their brothers/sisters, like I do) of children with Autism, AND mental and physical disabilities.

It often feels as though your back is to the wall
There’s no one to help, no one who cares to TRY and understand
“Why can’t you control him?” “If it was my child, she’d be dealt with appropriately”…
Please, tell me what’s appropriate enough for a child who lacks understanding,
Not by choice, it’s NOT their fault.
Forgive me for seeming as though I’m at my wits end…
Please forgive me for “enjoying” the silent stares and whispers of adults WHO think they know enough about my life to THINK I’m not a good enough parent.
Ha, could you handle it?
Wondering if your child will scream and shout because you tried to exchange something they love for something you think and hope they would like?
Could you break apart a wheel chair, day in and day out… or… take the unintentional beatings while adjusting leg braces?
Could you handle the cries of a child afraid to make YOU cry, but still unable to hold back their own emotions when they just can’t get their way?
Financial struggles, fears of being called unfit… sometimes unable to follow your own dreams, because their needs are just THAT much more important than your own.
What if you felt as though all you could do was lie awake late at night, hoping and wishing for solutions… and treatments, and help, and love, and SUPPORT that just may never come?
You don’t understand.
See… to you, the screaming and yelling is all because they live in a home where the parents and siblings are just too care free.
“We let our child cry it out.” “We believe in letting them express their selves in whatever way they see fit.”
As though I didn’t take into consideration that a simple visit to the doctor’s office could turn into nurses being hit with tiny toys.
As though I didn’t take into consideration that a single isle in the grocery store just may be torn apart if I don’t keep my eye on my child every single second I’m there…
I consider it all…
Just like I consider that there may be people who would take into consideration that maybe… just maybe, a person like me is doing all that I can to make things OKAY.
No, it’s not okay.
It’s easy for one to sit there with smug looks and side eyes and misinterpret my actions based on s**t they REFUSE to TRY and understand.
No, this wasn’t written and it’s damn sure not spoken for pity…
It was written and it’s spoken for those who DO understand. Those who go through the pain with no help.
Those who get the looks, the whispers… Those at their wits end. Those who do manage to cope better than others.
The mothers, the fathers, the sisters, the brothers.
I understand.
We’re not alone. There is hope. Someday, it will be okay.

Reviews

[Lee]

People can turn other people sour with just one little judgmental glance.
It's true and the fact is people don't care enough to even wonder past their own preconceived notions.
We shouldn't jump our skins to judge mindlessly. Yet we will.
Since I always feel like eyes are on me, laughing, pointing, staring, mocking, I avoid giving those sorts of snobby stares to anyone. I also realize everyone's got a story. And that life's a tough place. When you're an adult, being in a cozy place in life is something short lived..
Anyway, I definitely stand behind the belief in Hope. it is alive. And people will stand behind this. One day at least, I know one day when I am able to, I will do something to help people out.

Good talk. You raised an issue that not many people take too seriously.