The Fear

My heart screams in pain
Like a bear in a trap
It roars its anguish & hurt to the sky
To love & live without you
Is something I just can't do
So I selfishly keep you
Spoonfeeding you enough to keep you
Pacified

I know it's wrong
But as long as you're on the string
I'll keep holding it
I'm not afraid of being alone
But I am terrified of losing you
My lover, my friend, my heart
You've become so much to me
In so little time
My mind boggles with how deep you've got under my skin
You've managed to meld with me on a Heart level
You've blended into my soul

But I feel the time for you to leave me
Is coming near
I hear the clock ticking against us
And I rail at its incessant noise
Knowing in my spirit that it's inevitable
So I treasure & fight for the right to remain with you
But it is an illusion

You aren't meant for me
That is my fear
Losing another heartmate to time
My heart shattering again
The pieces sharp & jagged
To cut me again & again
Mocking me & my pain

The fear is strong
Potent as a witches' brew
A bitter pill to swallow