Switched at Birth

The painting featured in this write is a Jackson Pollack number 5 that sold for approx. 140 million dollars.

Switched at Birth

An Artist enters his studio

draws the shades for natural light,

suspends a blank canvas from the ceiling using 

wires and hooks.

 Beneath this canvas he places a long roll of plastic

and spreads it on the floor just beneath the canvas

then leaves the room.

 A few moments later he reappears with a high chair

and he places that directly beneath the canvas as well.

 He then retrieves his one year old from her play pen

and places her in the high chair.

Once she is securely strapped in, he places her bib

and puts various ketchup bottles on her tray then

 he takes a seat by the window, reads his morning paper

 and waits.

splat.

splat, splat, splat.

splat, splat, splat, splat, splat, splat, splat, 

splat splat splat 

splat splat

splat.

splat, splat, splat, splat, splat, splat, splat, splat splat splat 

splat, splat, splat, splat, splat, splat, splat, splat splat splat 

splat, splat, splat, splat, splat, splat, splat, splat splat splat 

splat, splat, splat, splat, splat, splat, splat, splat splat splat 

splat, splat, splat, splat, splat, splat, splat, splat splat splat 

splat, splat, splat, splat, splat, splat, splat, splat splat splat 

splat, splat, splat, splat, splat, splat, splat, splat splat splat 

splat...

baby begins to wail; the bottles are all empty.

 The artist takes her to the bath tub.

1 week later at an exhibit the canvas hangs with a few others.

A woman of well means studies and comments "I have never seen anything like this! why! The textures! The strokes,

the hues, it's sheer genius! I must say it rivals Jackson himself! I must have it!"

She hands her card to the gallery owner and instructs him to have it delivered to her

home this very day for the paltry sum of $3,000,000.000

She expresses her desire to meet the artist and relay her admiration in person but the gallery owner explains

that the artist is a recluse of sorts and never attends his own exhibits.

6 months later

An Artist enters his studio with his very pregnant wife and places his two year old in the high chair

exclaims to the toddler "My goodness soon you will be to big for this chair!" turns to his loving wife

kisses her cheek, rubs her tummy and thinks to himself "I couldn't have painted a prettier picture"

Reviews

[barleygirl]

This is the most arresting, biting, satisfying thing I've ever read about classical art. Even tho you hit on a brilliant analogy & then you spin it up into an irresistible froth, your statement could also apply to so much that's hoity-toity to my sensibilities (not just "high art"), as compared to being down-to-earth & gritty-real. This is a masterpiece (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Corset]

Barleygirl you not only have the coolest Moniker but also give the best comments, thank you.

[barleygirl]

Thanks for humbling me blushingly . . .

[Corset]

Barley makes beer :D have you ever saw those beer making kits? I bet those are fun, I'd get one but i don't like to drink beer lest it be the only thing to drink on a scorching day in a desert somewhere :P

[barleygirl]

Tried for years to "acquire a taste" for beer . . . always tasted like rotten bananas to me! *smile*

[Corset]

tastes like rotten something that's for sure, fermenting yuck. *smiles back*

[Neville]

............................... I often dont get it ... so called modern art that is... maybe that is why some of us write ... you paint a pretty picture here tho..........................

[Corset]

it's all subjective :D

[h d e rushin]

My dance teacher brought in the conceptual artist Kristo to demonstrate the "agony of collapse and exhaustion" he called it. So he has this giant box, the kind a large refrigerator would come in and gestures to his assistant to lay it on the floor with the open end facing the class. He then got in the box, then exited the box, then got in the box again...then exited the box again....And that was it. "Exhaustion", he explained, was nothing more than an assumed language; the dialect of an unlived life. It was right then that I said f**k modern art since it always seems to execute this formal protest against the abuses of the human soul . And the objection or the unwillingness of the display, becomes the act of "art" and not our visual or sworn declarations.
Give to me a worn out John Lee Hooker , or a Picasso with urinary tract infections; give me a suicidal Plath and an oversexed Sexton opening her legs in the front row of Robert Lowell's poetry class. Give to me a broken down Son House and a Joe Williams frozen on the side of the road....Give me art that means the artist faked concern and not an audience that fakes a response... great poem/ Love dana

[Corset]

Some of your comments are works of Art. Did she really do that? Sexton> ? One class I'd been happy to have missed. I like to think i'm a closet exhibitionist but I'm really not that bold, though it could be argued that the human form is beautiful, I'd just rather see something I haven't got.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Pollack is envious...even he couldn't do paintings like this baby did.
sometimes I wonder with his art, how much is intended.
Maybe I should have a baby write my poems for me....they would probably make just as much sense.
j.

[Corset]

YEAH! Just having fun with the phenomenon of genius in the unique or different, can you imagine getting 140 million for slinging some paint on a canvas? No the more sense it makes the less we can use our own imagination to see or read into it what we want, it moves all of us in different ways in different meaning