Wet Notes

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The growling clouds snapped back
in biting vein,
steamlined spitting
into the pitted,
into the trembling night,
I toss to the right,
drag racing shadow droplets
reflected through the light,
like squiggling sperm
on the blank page of my wall

this window~ pain...

as if they all had somewhere to be
somewhere, more...

wry,
important to be at the bottom of the page
some how, dry~

eyes,

all faster than the the ones beside
some hesitant, they glide.

While outside the wind sputters
and moans about Bedlam love
a secret sea beside me,

salty,

a heavy~ lidded song that never sleeps
pulling me lonely.

"would you replace me with another "
it drones, drips on my sleeve
stumbling into the deep sweet morning,

like a Thunder storm warning

rumbling through the medium of arteries
and ear drums humming in clumsy chords
memories made melodious with the strum
of his hand.

Reviews

[Delmar Cooper]

I'm such a sap. I read the first line , "rain, got it I can understand rain- yeah this poems for me." Anyway, that's what I thought. Then to make it even better there was this drawing of tadpoles. Cool, I can tell Corset (guessing Corset is a she, but you never know, you know?) about the time I saw it rain frogs. No, not that kind of tadpole, and if I ever saw it rain this other kind I wasn't going to tell her/him? probably her.
So I read your poem thanks for sharing.

[Corset]

Thank you for the chuckle and for reading. Thank you for the funny comments.

[Nipplegrinder]

I fell into this like a hammock. Exquisite phrasing, bold word choice.
"A heavy lidded song that never sleeps pulling me lonely".
Fantastic.

[Corset]

Thank you, for your amazing comments!

[Antonio Valentino]

holy smokes!

this one's got me flummoxed.. in the best way, possible

oh i just loved this.. fun, sexy, brilliant, meaningful

you really outdid yourself with this one Corset

a gorgeous piece

:)

[Corset]

Thank you Antonio wow so sorry I missed this seven years ago!

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

a heavy~ lidded song that never sleeps
pulling me lonely.
"would you replace me with another "

can we....can we ever be replaced....I doubt it...though so many would answer ...yes....

[A. Amos]

Title...you select smartly

The read was interesting and you penned very well...good job

[Corset]

sperm art, inside me joke, Thank you , they look like warped little eight notes don't they?

[A. Amos]

I agree with and you're most welcome

[jacob erin-cilberto]

"like squiggling sperm/ on the blank page of my wall"

love that... great title too..

this rumbles with passionate thunder...knocked me off the chair...with its wonderfully "clumsy chords"!

[Corset]

Thank you Jacob.

[Sami Khalil]

"Bedlam love
a secret sea beside me,

salty,

a heavy~ lidded song that never sleeps
pulling me lonely.

"would you replace me with another ""

The bottom of the page, the bottom of the ocean, the abyss of loneliness when songs never sleep in the head and the wind sputters along the broken paths.
An amazing write...:)...........

[Corset]

Thank you Sami :)

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)...................