I will never forget.

The person who plays the biggest part in my life, is the person I dread the most.

Did you seriously think I would never get away?
That I would never escape?
Did you think you're little plan was working?
The way you manipulated every single person in your presence to make yourself seem like the good guy. Did it ever occur to you that what you were doing was wrong?
No. Of course not. You're not ashamed of what you did. You have no disgrace within your own heart. You're proud of what you did to me..

The way you scarred me. The way you hurt me. The way you tortured me.

Did it ever occur to you that beating your own child was wrong?
The bruises on my body and the blood on my face? No, It never occured to you.
You refuse to believe it even now. That you were ever wrong.

Did you think you would get away with this unscathed? Really, now? I was a child. I'm not anymore. You're little mind games won't fool me this time. I refuse to fall into your trap all over again.

Did you think it was okay?
Did you think it was okay when I was screaming when you beat me?
Did you think it was okay when you touched me like that?
Did you think it was okay when you smacked me in front of my friends?
Did you think it was okay when you pointed a gun at my head?
It wasn't okay.

It's been four years. Four years since I fled from your grasp. Four years that I have been free. To this very day, It still haunts me. The fact that you so easily fooled everyone. I know damn well you could do it again..

You call yourself a Father.

Did you think the drinking would help?
It only fed the flames that engulfed my childhood.
Was I your slave? Did it entertain you to see me struggle?
Hell is no place to grow up.

Do you hate me? Am I not good enough for you? Are you not proud of me?
What am I doing wrong?
There has to be some reason that you hate me so much.
I just want to know what made you think that it was okay. I deserve that answer. You are a coward of a man. You deserve nothing but what you're being dealt. You deserve every second of it. You said so yourself, I'm a mistake. A mistake with a Bartender from Illinois.

I'm glad I know what you think of my mother. You think she's an alcoholic.
The funny thing.?
You are an alcoholic. Do you think I forgot those nights that you made me pour glass after glass of wine for you. I never forgot. Do you think I forgot you passing out at the kitchen table, or you pissing all over the bathroom and me having to clean it up?
I will not forget.

I hate you. I know I shouldn't, But I do. I hate every second of having to be in your presence. You show up at church every Sunday. Playing the good Christian role. If only they knew. If only they knew what I know.

I guess I have forgiven you in ways.
But I will never forget.


 

Author's Note

Not really well put together. First thing I've ever written in my life.

Reviews

[WriterMe]

What? really? But this was so, so good. It had so many powerful emotions emitting from it. It felt so strong, so alive. It was very VERY good