Growth and Desperation

Life with my innocence was a life worth living.
It transcended any gift this world had to share.
We lived each day without any misgivings,
Free from consequences, we lived without care.
We were fueled by imagination, and driven by passion.
We had no limit, no adventure was to great.
Running bravely into danger without hesitation,
It was all ok, because we wrote our own fate.
Soaring through the heavens, we felt so free.
We danced on the moon, and bathed in the sun.
We were anything we dreamed we could be.
What great times that was, life was so much fun.
So I thought life was, but it had other plans.
It didn’t share our vision of everlasting joy.
It pulled me down with its harsh cold hands,
Cruelly let me know that I was no longer a boy.
It said, “The fantasy’s over, you’re in reality.
Your dreams are out and real life is here.”
As told, my innocence stopped and walked away from me.
I froze and stood there in overwhelming fear.
The light that filled me, withered and died,
Leaving me feeling cold and dark within.
I fell to my knees as I shouted and cried,
Because everything I was just came to an end.
Life didn’t care, it came at me with a fury,
Hitting me strong and hard with determination.
I began to realize all that I knew was wrong,
Each hit was a lesson in my new education.
Limitless dreams were abandoned and replaced with doubt,
It took root on my soul, consuming my existence.
I tried to be bold and hold on tight,
But life just smiled and laughed at my silly resistance.
I sought the help of anyone who understood,
But quickly learned the meaning of loneliness.
Turning to anyone who was near, I screamed, “Please if you would!”
After many let downs I turned to bitterness.
Full of doubt and accompanied with loneliness,
I drudged on searching for any peace I could find.
Just anything that would make it easier.
Any sign of the part of me I left behind.
I just wanted a morsel of what I once had, just a small taste.
Any f*****g way possible to get to back to that place.
But hope was gone now and it showed on my face.

I give up

Author's Note

Any feedback would be great. This is the first poem I wrote after about 12 years of nothing, lol. I appreciate any feedback, positive or negative. Any helps. Thanks!