A Strange Day in July

This little short story may have many meanings, mostly because it was written by 3 individual people: me, and two others who don't have accounts on WritersCafe. Much of the credit is due to them.

A Strange Day in July

It was a strange day in July. A little boy sat on the side of a lake. Thinking. Thinking of how he ended up here all by himself next to a lake he didn't recognize or know. Strangely enough he couldn't remember. He couldn't remember why he was here, how he got here, his problems back at home, or even his family. All the little boy could think about was the smooth, flat stones that were laying before him. He picked up one of the stones. Before, he knew in his heart that he wasn't able to flick it across the water and make it skip. But now, he knew he could.

FLING! the stone flew. One. Two. Three... Four! Five! Six! A profound sense of accomplishment filled him with joy.

Suddenly, something began to emerge from the water. The little boy began to falter, and in the act, he fell flat on his butt into the pile of stones. The boy watched in horror as this mysterious creature emerged. Soon, the whole of the monster was revealed to him, as left over water steamed and streamed from its jagged edges.

ROAAAAR!!! The saliva from its mighty roar splashed upon the boy's face. The boy's first sudden thought (besides the profound sense of fear) was that this creature should leave him alone; he was really feeling that he could accomplish a skip of seven. The second thought was that he wondered about the warmth emanating from behind him, and that the warmth might be touching him. He turned and saw a girl. How had he not noticed her before? With her left hand now on his shoulder, she had her right hand outstretched towards the beast, sluggishly facing forward to examine the beast which was in a strange hypnotic state. The girl let him know that the danger had subsided for now. The beast slowly returned to the water. 

"Hey" she whispered. "Here," she handed me a smooth stone, perfect for making another skip.

The boy took the stone and positioned it in his hand so that it was parallel to the lake. He found himself making a hard, painful flick with his wrist. The stone flew across the lake. It was a skip of eight. 

Reviews

[M. Smith]

I gave this little pearl a 100. It is quite perfect all by itself. The narrative voice was distinctive and kind and real. The setting was clear, the idea of the tale is definitely original. The character of the little boy was evident and held my interest throughout the tale. The pace was smooth and believable. The focus of this dream was on the boy, as all dreams should be, garnished with the monster and the girl. The author is a talented story teller. Well done. Ciao, JT

[Luke Steed]

Well, more accurately put, all three of us are talented, but I digress. Thank your for your review!

[PandaPeaceful]

A beautiful story! The ending left the mind to fly through space and time. Amazing job!

[BM_2211]

Enjoyable throughout! Have you thought expanding on this story?

[Luke Steed]

Thanks! Not really. I felt like this was best untouched. I did proofread it at first, but other than that, it's fairly open-ended. If you were to expand upon it, what would you consider doing?

[Shannon]

This is charming and simple on the surface.

I am not sure if you like suggestions.

I especially like the multiple interpretations of the end.

[Luke Steed]

Thank you and I would love suggestions. This story was written by three different people. I wrote the middle, while two of my friends wrote the beginning and the end. I really liked how it turned out.

[Shannon]

I would encourage you to expand the girls interaction with the beast and the narrator. Show us more, demonstrate the magic of it.

[Luke Steed]

I just did a proofread of the story, but I don't think I'll expand upon it any further. I think it would disrupt the mystery of the story as a whole.

[Shannon]

That's of course, up to you.

[Vasilees Sybissyl]

I loved the ending!

The story was very well written, though I would have appreciated more description of the monster. I'll keep thinking about the loose ends all night. Keep it up!!