My Last

This is a poem i did for a poetry contest based on a picture. This poem is based off of Don Cooper, Extreme Southeast Georgia, 1990. Morris Museum of Art, Augusta, Georgia.

 

My Last

 

 

As I sat upon the rigid stone

I sensed the chill in the air

And saw the trees blow in the zephyr

On the ground flowers covered the earth

The candles burned tenderly

While the incense burned

The fumes from the incense rose to form sight

I felt as if I was being watched by the gods

In my depressed state I saw the hazy figures of those that I dream of

I could feel the roar see the insight

As I looked around I could see the faces in the stone

Watching me

Taking in my every move

It felt as thought they could read my thoughts and interpret my moods

I felt the reassurance the uplifting

I listened to the voices and looked up

Through the limbs I saw the silver orb

I felt it point to the direction I should go

So I rose and proceeded over the rippling glass

I looked through the haze

And that’s when it hit me

My life was over

For I have seen the light.

 

 

Reviews

[Dietrich von Crowe]

I like the anaphora you used frequently: "I felt" and how there wasn't any punctuation until the very end of the poem. The anaphora with the corresponding imagery brought out the kinesthetic imagery rather well. As for criticism, I must also say that the enjambent was a tad bit confusing. So having the lack of punctuation until the end may have been principle in the poem, but it also made reading it a tad bit awkward. Overall, nicely done.