Prologue

Alex's starting life.

Coming back to New York to see my mom and sister finally. Sadly my mom and dad divorced when I went blind. When it happened I was five and it was a busy time in my dad's life being the factory's manager and all. At that time my dad's factory was being under attacked and I was a fearless child. I saw men in clown masks. And I was a weird kid at the time. I loved clowns, I don't know why there just creepy cool. While I was running after them like a kid who saw candy for the first time. A man who was at the top of the stairs on the second floor of my dad's factory. Ran of out of fear mistakenly bumped into a bucket full of chemicals and acid. In that moment for no reason, I looked up which I should have not. The falling bucket hit me in the face only that the chemicals slammed into my blue eyes making me go blind.

 Horribly sad that was the last thing my eyes saw in the world. The man escaped he was never found after that and also the other masked men vanished like the little mermaid into bubbles. But hey that was the past no need to take pity on me okay. I did stay with my dad for three years to see my doctor. He said I might be losing my hearing and voice too. From time to time, my voice blurs off and my hearing too. So I am literally destroyed in the inside and out. And whenever I was with my mom she would turn into the mad hatter she would close herself in the room and cry tears that never stopped. She hates my dad for his unresponsible self. She thinks because I can't see that I don't know what she really feels or looks like, but I do know. I have a little sister and she's Aria Lane who is seventeen in high school that spoiled brat is my best friend and she cares so much for me. But being blind is not too bad I might see darkness and hear screams and cries. But having courage and strength is my will to live life. I am Alexandra Lane nineteen and this is the story of how I became a troublemaker.

Author's Note

I hope you like<3

Reviews

[S. von Glaubitz]

Overall, this prologue sets up an interesting premise with a potentially strong and intriguing main character in Alexandra. I’m curious to see how you’ll handle the first person narration from a blind character. Sounds like quite the challenge!

The opening sentence deals with her return to New York, but the subject is dropped for the rest of the prologue. Instead, you move into the backstory of her parents’ divorce, and then how she became blind. In that way, it feels like a tangent into a tangent that never comes back around to the original point. I wonder if you be better off cutting that first sentence entirely.

Otherwise, it covers what a prologue needs to and sets up for the rest of the story. I love the way you use the last line for that. So as far as that goes, the pacing works, but you might consider breaking it up so it’s not only two good-sized paragraphs. It could use some general editing, but I wouldn’t change the meat of it too much.

It’s been a while since you posted this. Do you plan to continue with the story?

[Pink Pastel]

Wow I am very much amazed thank you very much now this is what I call a review and your right. And actually this was kinda of a test to see if it was likeable or good but of course there so much more to come in time. And I am very sorry I took so long for the left but I've been busy with college but in do time I will keep on writing this challenge. I also do book covers if you like^-^

[thaleeyaLuna]

The story seems cool, and I hope as it progresses it would get better. :) I'm looking forward to it.
However, I would just suggest that you edit some parts on your story where you wrote some phrases as sentences. For example: "Coming back to New York to see my mom and sister finally". That is not a sentence. It's incomplete. That's why it disrupts the flow of the sentences in the paragraph, providing readers a hard time reading it. You're a good writer I know you can edit them. :)
Thank you for inviting me to read! :)

[Pink Pastel]

Thank you it helps alot and your welcome ^-^

[hi]

you this kinda sounds good, i wonder if it will have a sad ending

[Pink Pastel]

I wonder too lol^-^

[W&oslash;lfy]

I bet it is going to have that one ending.

[Pink Pastel]

Hmmm I don't know whenever my imagination takes me:)

[TheAimlessWanderer]

the transitions and pacing threw me off a little but i assume you will go into more detail in the actual story
so i am probably worried over nothing it seems you may have something interesting unfolding so i will look forward to reading it

[W&oslash;lfy]

*never reads it*

[Pink Pastel]

Okay and thank you for reviewing;)

[Howling_Wolf]

I think I will enjoy reading this; it is written really well. Alex seems like a very strong and capable person, even with some may call disabilities. I'm look forward to reading more of this.

[Pink Pastel]

Awww thank you♡♡♡

[GalaxyGhost]

So far, this is pretty good and the only thing I can say as a critique on editing is that some of the sentences would be better if combined so the story will flow more instead of stopping a couple of times. That's just up to you and I'm just pointing it out. I hope to read more, though as I want to know more of the story and characters!

[Pink Pastel]

Of course and thanks^-^

[Wølfy]

I actually read this and found it quite good. The font is pain on my eyes but that is only my minor opinion. I really like where this is going. I may actually read more. :)

[Pink Pastel]

Awwe thanks