Mellow Hallways

An exploratory piece that I wrote on the fly today. It does some work to capture parts of how I experience life.

Walking through the woods
Clouds, half the land in night
Taking half steps forwards
Walking backwards and turning onto secret trails
Going nowhere
Taking these mellow hallways towards the deep sigh that's been waiting for me.
It's never easy
Quick sidestepping nervous energy in a mad dash for peace
Vicious circles take their dues and I forget the springtime blues
Become a work work work and forget the reason why
Gets easier to try
Harder to stop
Then the other shoe drops.
Everything stops
And I learn to listen
Start to follow some sirens song, down these mellow halls
And see how the clouds cast the light
Just right
Like some milky mournful haze.
Taking half steps
Towards nowhere
I forget to breathe
And rest

Author's Note

Some general thoughts on the poems wood be nice. feedback is welcome, both kind and critical. Does anyone have something I can replace "the other shoe drops with"? It's close to what I mean but the negative connotation doesn't really work in context.

Reviews

[ranscan]

I was a little lost with this piece, until I saw that your main platform is slam, which then contributes to my understanding of where this work lives. The imagery is quite good, and I can see the repeated hooks and sporadic rhymes as part of the form.
I wonder if instead of half being used here "Taking half steps forwards" and a repeat from the line before it, would halting not attend to the meaning wished?
As to your inquiry, in keeping with the rhyme would "And then the adrenaline pops" work? The reference is more chemical than natural, physical than philosophical, yet perhaps leaves room to be influenced by the ideas that are present in the lines around it. This may also tie into one of the sub themes running through your work.
Though not in any way classic in its presentation, this work some interesting attributes.