Unrequited Love

Quick bit

As much as I try to deny it, I have feelings for him.

As much as I try to disguise them, he will always know.

He will always know he has that power over me. The notion that I will always run back to him brings him comfort. 

No matter how badly he treats me, he knows I don't have the strength to leave.

And that kills me.

It kills me knowing that what I am is a pathetic, vulnerable, impressionable and stupid little girl. It kills me knowing that he could easily go out there and find him a woman that's actually worth something.

But then I think to the times he actually chose me. There must have been a reason. There must be a reason he still talks to me now and then, even if it isn't for long. And every little buzz I get on my phone, my heart immediately starts pounding, my cheeks flush, my eyes desperately seeking to see his name on the screen. But it's never his name. Ever.

Unrequited love is so painful, and I hope one day he will feel in his heart the same pain he gave me.