The Damage of the BUT....

Everything we say or don't say effects someone somewhere in some way.....

So many times in our lives we say words that are meant to convey happiness or love; only to back it up with a buttttttt

Do You But?

How many times have you looked at someone; your child, your spouse, your parents, your employee and said to them.

 

You are doing a great job, BUT.....

I Love You, BUT.....

I put gas in the car, BUT.....

I think you are a great person, BUT.....

I would do that for you, BUT......

 

When we tell someone how we feel and we add that tiny word it negates all that we have said.

 

BUT

A BUT expressed in a sigh

 

I recently realized that I BUT quite a bit.

I can say that I don't think I give someone props or tell them I think they are great and then add BUT into the mix....However, I sigh....

 

When ask to do something that I have to stop what I am doing at the time to do, I sigh. Breathing out though my nose at a fast pace, giving the outward impression that I don't want to do what was ask of me....which in all honesty I do not want to do because I am busy with other things at that moment.

 

A BUT expressed in a sigh is, I have learned just as emotionally damaging as any BUT expressed in a word.

 

A BUT or a SIGH is a sign to the one you are speaking to that you are displeased with something. It is better to simply just say what you need to say; without leading up to it.

I love you said with affection in your voice is an important thing to say to all those you do; you never know when it will be the last time you get a chance for them to hear it.

I love you, BUT, means that you are displeased

 

Dad, I put gas in the car on the way home. BUT, I used your credit card....

 

 

Somehow, this just does not work.....

Author's Note

I did not realize just how often I say BUT.....

Reviews

[MFAtkinson]

I used to saying But a lot then I practiced not to overuse it because the more I used it, the more excuses it made it look that way. I use But when there is something good after it. Now my daughter is over abusing the But a lot. LOL

"You said you were hungry, so I made you a big meal!"
"But mommy... I was hungry at the time.."

"Time to clean the room, please"
"Mommy.."
"No Mommy me, just do it."
"But.. my friends.."
"OR.. The rules..."
"OK MOMMY!!"

There are thousand of BUTs that she has said and yet.. I love her my dear baby. :)

Good writing! Thanks for sharing, and glad to see that we all are not alone for using BUT!

[Baby Ricochet]

I have a big but

[Constance Payne]

interesting....thank you for reading this piece.

[nihilistictablelamp]

Intriguing message, of the few typos I've caught that could hinder in conveying your story: "When ask to do something," "Breathing out though my nose," as well as consider adding quotations around "I love you," said with affection..."

[Constance Payne]

Thank you for reading, it is appreciated much. My fingers do have a problem with spelling I will have to watch that as well as the quotes. Again, thank You.

[carol burgess romance]

I enjoyed this..but...could not resist. So true what you say a but or sigh sends a negitive message...Good write...

[Constance Payne]

Thank you for reading. It is amazing just how often we say but or give that big sigh that we don't realize conveys such a sad message....I have found this day that I still do this more than I would prefer to do.

[Trigorin]

Feels like something I might find in a Reader's Digest. I think you've written it well enough, but just not my cup of tea.

[Constance Payne]

I appreciate the read nonetheless. There are things I read each day that I would not choose were I not ask to review. I appreciate the feedback.

[Vanadis17]

thanks for writing this- really made me replay my conversations and realize how much i need to change some things...

[Constance Payne]

You are welcome, it does open the eyes a bit doesn't it.

[Vanadis17]

it really does...

[Rita L. Sev]

I never thought about the BUT; you are so right. This essay has given me something to think about!

[Constance Payne]

It was written because I realized that I say it more often than I like; thank you for reading.

[Tate Morgan]

Yes it takes away the compliment and buries it under contempt lol We all do it I try not to.Lets all try to be better people compliments are not meant to have add ons.

[Constance Payne]

I do it more than I like, thank you for reading.

[Eddie Phillips]

We all use but a lot..but that's okay! LOL

[Constance Payne]

Smart Eleck....thank you for the smile this morning.

[Eddie Phillips]

Anytime!

[Jules]

Really enjoyed the insight you've given. I will have to read more of your writing :)

[Constance Payne]

Thank you for reading, this is a piece of reality for me; one I think I wish I may not have realized. I look forward to reading you as well. :) Nice to meet you.