Love Thy Self First To Be Able To Love Another

Importance to internal growth of us all; the idea comes from another, the words from my heart.

Facing The Mirror

Each morning we awake and make the decision to either get out of bed or roll over and hit the snooze; maybe to sleep the day away, maybe for just that extra five minutes that will make it easier to get started.  

If you are a parent that decision is often made for you by the sudden attention getting shrill voices of those little beings who change so much about us and who we were determined to be in life, yet bring so much to our worlds that we can not imagine anything different in that moment.  Putting a smile upon the face of tiredness we arise.

We get up, stumble into the kitchen, and start the coffee or get that first sip of ice cold soda, tea, or water to bring life to the juices pumping through our veins that just needed that five minutes between snooze slaps.  Suddenly our bladders realize we have moved and are no longer sleeping, they scream for attention and we oblige.  Moving through the bathroom we capture a glance of the one that reflects from passing a mirror.  That captured glance often brings, if only for a split second, shock and wonder.  That question ~~~~~~~"Who is that" arises as we move to follow the orders of a long deprived release.

As a single parent (which I was for a number of years) we often follow that up with a second question that carries more weight and more doubt. "Can I really do this alone?"  That answer to both those questions lie within us and have to be addressed in a positive manner for a successful conclusion/beginning to our day.

Q: Who Is That? ~ A: A Beautiful Person Who Is Getting it Together A Little More Each Day!

Q: Can I Really Do This Alone?  A: I Got This!!  Ain't Nuthin` But A Thang!

If your reflection is cruel and your doubts are strong it takes visual stimulation to be able to ensure those answers are delivered correctly.  We all have the right to believe in ourselves, be loved, love, be treated with respect, and to know that as important as our job as parents is it is also just as if not more important to take care of ourselves first and foremost.  Our children are watching us as we can damage all good lessons by one self depreciation, even if we don't realize they can see and hear us.

So How Can I Make Sure I Am Telling Me What I Need To Hear

There are a number of ways but my favorite and the one I share here is the post-it mirror message.

THE POST IT MIRROR MESSAGE is exactly what it sounds like....post-it notes placed on the mirrors in our home so we can be reminded that we are well worth love and more without having to consciously do the work ourselves.  It is a lot of work to overcome puberty and the internal damage that our "friends" and classmates can cause us.

The first thing we have to do is when we begin to hear that inner voice says "You Can't" that we out loud and very definitively state "HECK YEA I CAN DO THIS AND YOU BEST LEAVE ME ALONE!!!"  Regardless of the word you use to tell your inner doubter to back off it must be louder than what it is telling you.

Yes, when you first start this people will think you are just a tad off your rocker, let them think.  It is more important what you think of you!!!  It is difficult to get started but it is possible and possible is all we really need.  

Someone once said there would never be women in the military, women in congress, women in the cabinet, a black president, I could go on and on; but they believed in that possibility and worked to make that tiny possibility their reality.

So How Do I Get Started, What Are The Right Words To Improve Me

Well, that is not a question I nor anyone else can answer for you because it is you and you alone who know how you feel about you.  I knew/know how I feel about me and I put the words into action that counter-acted the negative encouragement I was receiving from those who were my "friends" and classmates.  The following are some of the words that were placed on my Mirror Notes (when I ran out of notes I wrote on the mirror and later found that these word affected my sons in a positive manner as well) they may not work for you, but then again they are a place to start until you find your personal dialogue. 
I AM BEAUTIFUL            I AM A CREATION OF A LOVING GOD

I AM CAPABLE            EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE              I AM LOVED

     EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE FOR SOMEONE ~ WHY NOT ME       I AM A GREAT PERSON

                I DESERVE TO BE HAPPY             I AM              I DESERVE HAPPINESS

Your words may be different, they may be the same, they are entirely up to you and as long as they are positive and build you up in a manner that makes you believe you have the right to love and happiness they are the RIGHT words for you!

I can say you will have naysayers, we all do, those are the people that once you love you will either join you or leave you and you WIN either way. 

Good Luck and remember.....You Got This!!! Ain't Nuthin` But A Thang!!!!

Author's Note

There are purposeful spelling mistakes made in this essay because life is not always helped by perfect grammar and spelling.