These Ever Blues

These Ever-Blues

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These ever-blues I have found

In the throws of a passion for loss

And do not wish to let go

Held at the constant wonder, petals withering, dying pass us

We go together thinking of form and pleasure and joy

Delving into the panic of art the page and war and fame

Our muse is strong full certainty fearless and a little drunk

With notions outmoded that we are all the same and yet you are so different

These words are applied too much

Tremulous

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O Love, O hate, O regard, disregard and sorrow

Science cannot connect creation in your selfhood

Let the disconnect live, let the freedom admit love

Human frailty to the bone and to loving heartache,

Lonely flush of desire flush of anger flush of need and sin that will not sleep

So that yet we will battle the devil inside

Anticipation, sometimes sweet, sometimes insipid and always something deeper than we comprehend

I'm hiding in a smile of society's observance

Like everyone else I guess

A model prisoner of this bored waiting

And with a little remorse

Pleasures that are inclined towards the possibility that I am human and not just a number

And that this is a normal part of the passage every person endures

I dream of her form

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In my mind as if longing is as a biological obligation

Will a designed bond, finds a way

Tired from the start my life seemed like time's slave

A poetic intention of despairing insistance

And everything fading, regretful

I am frightened of this feeling and fight it

A distorting obligation with this knowledge of pain

I turn inside for possibility

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My thoughts of you remaining

Sweat and blood and dire tribulation

A divine sacredness in every one and every deed's test

From the acts of the w***e to the taxman

Life itself rolls out the spirit call cowboy

To everyone and questions forgiveness in you

And the heart of your love

Our little romance is the purest of connections

Undenied and indestructable

And it's all we're going to get

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Lady, like a muse you spread everywhere

Ingrained in my heart like a tattoo

I traveled so far to find you and you waited and knew

I left so much unmet Where did our trust go?

Did it go into some black hole?

I'm loving the colors at play

I imagine space but have never seen

I'm gone now bemused but keep it all in my soul

At night I wake with fluttering eyelids, dreams too passing

And I am a proper jailbird

No that's not quite true

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And now this feeling right here is the part that would be the movie

Left apart to ponder our worths of trade-desires pleasing

But I need your heart and soul going along with me

Life is too short to see it clearly

You're true but life gets hazy, shifty

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In my life I think about your heavenly body and the stars in your dreams

Have you understood the beautiful subject and movenment the glory maker

The denial in pain makes me close my eyes hard

I am glad for the sublime reality I miss so stupid

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Can't you yet feel it? The day defined? The years transcribed

What have we made? What fruits did we collect for the future

Do you still bypass your heart?

The feelings swell in your solitude past forgotten

The feelings misued

Your peers don't understand how you'll miss it

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Churning isolation

The dragons of desolation

A diamond solitude, the cards shuffle

Rich with pain

But I have found strength of one

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I survive because I expect this specific individual type of failure

Letting the leash loosen

Yet still this expression of sorrow discontented

Classified a pride reaction

This emotion is real and simple

When mulling over sincere elegant equations of honest intention

That didn't quite make the grade

Nature reveals its face and the years press on

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I have stuck around to understand love's sweet word

A redemption of resignation ... in that I am still right here

Holding on, I beat the cold lonely

Swimming in your eyes is a long way from tragedy

The fire warms and does not burn my instrusive soul searching

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And i'm glad not all people are the same

There'll never be another you making the world matter again to me

Enfold me kiss me in a true gesture with a promise of love

Keeping with the theme where I am here without a clue

And your breath and love and heart is my reason why

My love vision

My desire fulfilled

There is something in your eyes which I call my hope

And what I see is beauty now pertaining to now, tomorrow and yesterday

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Oh I made you need me lovingly

Turned your heart to choosing your own fate

Didn't know your soul was hurting

Didn't see your eyes crying

Thought I did what I should do

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Deserted in the distance from our love with time

I am a wandering loner

I fall in love with the absense and seek love's muse reply eternally

But only in pieces I gather it

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My mind now in the past and brighter days still blue

Counting the sum of our love, wistful

What will we do with the circumstantial sum of desire?

I am not so strong without you

And I am not so lost

Constant unto passion

Happy with the quest, deciding to learn

I love you still in my little way

You affect my notion of the world

I choose these ever-blues

I choose them and don't want to loose them

Wondering if my abstractions can be met with equal strength, as myself

I stick to my original concern

In a perpetual shade of sorrow that seeks redemption

And this is the shade of a new tear that forms

And this is my charm

Love I will win you one day

And I pursue

And this is a redeclaration of original poetry