The Tongue

A story of Retribution, teenage years, moving on, & unexspected events...A Tongue Twisting ending...myth, based on tidbits of true events & science fiction/horror. changes.

 The Tongue

Written by Teresa Dale Mitchum

Copyright© 2015 All Rights Reserved

 

It was uncanny bumping into Gavin Moran in downtown Seattle.  They literally ran into each other as she was turning the corner heading for her apartment.  The day was rainy and the wet drops tickling her hands and legs felt nice.  She smiled immediately looking into his round blue eyes that seemed to light up too. It had been over ten years since she had seen him, and had to admit him an Adonis.  It was ominous that the horrid memories of him in high school didn’t seem to bother her at all.  Tessa’s face lit up with excitement, which was also odd. He asked her out to dinner and she accepted immediately.  He was in town on business for the weekend and she thought, “It would be fun to reminisce.”  Tessa left Lancaster after high school and remained in Seattle after college.  “How odd,” she thought, but then she was also ecstatic and filled with anticipation.  

______________________________________________________________________

Ten Years Earlier

The ‘situation’ with Gavin began one warm spring evening at her friend’s home, Paige.  Her boyfriend, Rodney showed up unexpectedly in his white convertible camaro. She was only 14 and Paige 16.  Paige ran inside, and her mother yelled, “Forty-five minutes, be safe!”   Paige pulled the bucket seat forward and was surprised to see Gavin Moran in the back. Tessa squeezed in and stayed to the right. She was bashful but even a short ride ‘unescorted’ made her feel grown up. 

She was surprised when the car stopped at the overlook, renowned for parking and making out.  She had never been there and felt her face warming as a pink blush spread down her body. She was leaning against the front of the camaro, and thankful Gavin suggested they go outside.  Paige and Rodney were kissing and swooning to a serenade of Bob Segers; his voice echoed Roll Me Away into the thick forest, converging with the silence of the night.  Glimmering town lights shone like large lightning bugs sparkling ceaselessly with hues of blue, white and gold that seemed to go on forever.  

Entranced by the beauty of her surroundings Tessa had forgotten about Gavin until she felt a touch upon her hand.  She tensed, but he apologized speaking softly easing her tension.  “Just ignore them; let’s enjoy the view”, swigging on a bottle of vodka.  “Aren’t you a freshman,” he asked.

 “Yes,” Tessa replied reticently.

“Looks like you and Paige have been lying in the sun, in teeny bikinis; he remarked moving a little closer.  “You know, you’re really beautiful,” smiling like a jackal. She was wearing a tank top, shorts and flip-flops, and at that moment wished for a bed-sheet. She was frozen like a statue and Gavin looked at her like she was food; like a hyena, saliva dripping ready to eat her up. His large hand squeezed tighter and then he leaned in like a vampire for the deadly kiss.  Tessa felt more nervous and stammered, “No” loudly and turned away.  She immediately opened the door and said “Let’s go.”  

Paige saw the look of fright on her face. “Rodney, take us back to my house,” Rodney didn’t skip a beat.  Tessa told Paige about Gavin and she began to cry.  Paige hugged her, “I had no idea. He’s an a*s Tessa, it will be fine,” trying to comfort her.

The next day she walked into school, little cliques of girls began to giggle, as she walked by, then more, and she heard three words she thought she would never forget. “Tessa the Tongue.” She hurried to the restroom hoping she had smeared her mascara, even a boogie hanging from her nose. She was so perplexed. 

Thankfully Paige came in looking concerned.  “Tessa, that lying a*****e Gavin has told everyone you tried to stick your tongue down his throat; that you nearly choked him.”  She began to shake all over. 

“Why would he do that?” Tessa said tearfully. 

“Because you turned his arrogant a*s down, that’s why. He’s a bigheaded egotistical s**t. Don’t worry Tessa; I’ll talk to Rodney,” Tessa still trembling, and tearful.

Unfortunately, that didn’t work and throughout her high school days, she heard “Tessa the Tongue” over and over.  Those were the darkest days of her life.  MySpace was splattered with those three words.  If butter equaled rumors, she could feed the town for years.  She was the mouse in the bucket, trapped, churning and turning.  She isolated herself and dreaded school.  One desperate desolate summer, she had given up; she wanted to die. She was so low, so depressed she felt that death was her only way out.

Alone in her back yard, she said aloud, “Please make this go away, I can’t take it anymore, crying loudly.  I wish I could strangle him.” She felt the earth shake and then she saw a split in the earth dead center her mom’s red lilies. A creature, pure white, unclothed but covered by wings appeared and hovered before her eyes.  Her body was that of a human woman, but her pale skin looked like it was painted on; its glow illuminated the entire back yard. She was completely naked, but somehow, the contrast against the dark sky concealed her body and she radiated like a vision. “Have I finally gone off the deep end,” Tessa thought.

The creature’s large deep eyes were bright, but only the ring around the iris blazed green. She was more beautiful than anything Tessa thought possible.  Her long red hair sparkled as she spoke silently. Do not be sad young one; he will bemoan his actions. You will live a joyful life. Our society is devoted to smolder abuse. Instantly Tess knew they were once human and murdered savagely by love one’s. She felt their compassion, but also a tremendous rage.  They chose retribution and vengeance instead of a heavenly paradise. Their philosophy is to render justice to those abused and in need. Tess was unafraid, peaceful, like she was under a spell.  The exquisite creature disappeared instantaneously as the fissure closed. Trust us, in a symphony of harmonic voices, as she disappeared beneath the earth. Tessa still trying to understand saw a small shiny object; it was a deep violet ring with black archaic symbols.  She placed it on her left ring finger, where it remained.  It fit perfectly.

If she was a vision, it didn’t matter, from that day on, she ignored the jeers. “Tessa theTongue,” rolled off her shoulders like a waterfall.  She never trembled again, in fact her confidence grew.

______________________________________________________________________

Dinner Date Seattle

As she prepared for her date she felt like a robot, like someone was guiding her. She bathed with Ogilvie Sisters Soap by candlelight.  Prepared her hair and makeup and opened a box of lingerie. It was elegant and very sexy; peach colored with tiny white beads. She even picked out a sexy dress, and slipped on the hose and garters; put on her four inch stilettos and out the door she went.  

She met Gavin at the Four Season hotel restaurant.  He met her at the door smiling gleefully.   “Tessa, you look so beautiful. Would you like to dine on the veranda?” he asked.  Tessa shook her head slightly downward, smiling. The spring night was lovely, a light breeze, touched her auburn hair, chills run up her long legs.   He was such a gentleman; they sipped a bottle of chardonnay and reminisced about high school. He was still single and worked for a medical firm out of Chicago. 

She couldn’t believe the words when they came out of her mouth, “How about a nightcap,” he didn’t hesitate at all.  Gavin asked for the check and soon they were in his hotel suite. She had never had a one night stand, but for some reason, she was captivated, and anticipated touching his body. 

He poured two vodka tonics, and when they looked into each other’s eyes they both knew and she pulled him by his tie into the bedroom.   She could feel something stirring deep inside, it was as if he looked too close, he would see a demon inside her.  But she couldn’t stop. “Shhhh, clothes off,” and she pointed to the bed. When he reached for the light switch she shook her head no, talking in a whisper and began slowly undressing.  First the black Chanel dress, and bit by bit she removed everything occasionally turning her head looking into his eyes.  First the garters, then the hose, watching his eyes grow larger with his manhood.  She put on quite an intoxicating show.  This was not like her at all; it was as if she was possessed. She took her time and climbed onto the bed; hands, then knees, inching closer to his face, when he began to speak, she pointed her index finger, side to side, “Shhhh,” again.  He was almost driven mad with desire, and then the kiss.

At that moment, she felt stronger than she ever had.  She held him down on the bed, securing his arms. Her tongue licked his mouth and then began to grow, and grow like Jack’s Beanstalk.  She loved it, she felt powerful.  Gavin was choking, it was strangling him; now ten feet in length growing stronger and thicker, it picked him up by the neck wrapping tightly around his body. His manhood looked like only two tiny acorns; the rest escaped inside with fear, and his eyes were paralyzed with terror. It picked him up and she heard words silently traveling to him, the same voices she heard ten years before. He shook his head in compliance.

Women are to be cherished.  What you did to Tessa was unforgivable, what you have done to all women is horrid.  You use them for pleasure.  They trusted you and you lied.   Until you understand what you have done, we are leaving you a gift. In her haze she gathered Gavin had continued to lie and treat woman without respect.  His goal was only to use them for his sexual gratification. 

______________________________________________________________________

A New Dawn

Tessa slept more peacefully that night than ever before.  She arose and laughed at the crazy dream she had about Gavin Moran. “Weird,” she thought. She showered dressed and headed for work.  On the way, she couldn’t believe her eyes, it was Gavin Moran, handcuffed, blue lights swirling.  She drove by slowly nearly in shock. “Why was his tongue sticking out?” she thought.

“You’ll learn to respect the law, you dumbass, and the tongue came out again,” the police officer said. He booked him but he continued sticking out his tongue, attempting to explain the mad story, but continually sticking out his tongue at the officers and everyone around.

Author's Note

Thank you in advance for reading; probably silly, but I'm trying. Wrote quickly, will be making changes. Thank you so much! Any suggestions are appreciated. I do hope you like it. Dale

Reviews

[someonesomeone]

For me, I think that your story needs a clear goal.

I've noticed that you have edited it, but I think you need to imagine the complex feeling you are trying to create.

You have a wide variety of emotions in this story, but like fine food, it needs to be balanced (and subtle). Just a pinch of salt and chilli.

This is as much a reflection of my own writing as yours.

Let me know if this helps you.

(I really enjoyed your story.)

[Pickletheplacid]

I enjoyed the read, the writing is solid, you have a knack at keeping the right amount of flow going, you don't stay too long where you shouldn't.
Most the grammar errors have been picked up in other reviews so I'll spare any duplication.

The last paragraph could have had more, it was a massive part of the whole story but you only give it a few words to close. I wanted to see more anguish from Gavin.

[JoeM]

Good fun! Nice to know you can let it all hang out. Interesting about dreaming. There is a sleep clinic that helps battered women with dream therapy. The clinician oversees the sleeping woman, and as she achieves the rapid eye movement that shows she is now dreaming, he whispers a scenario of her taking charge of her former abusive relationship, and turning it into one of her establishing control. It has proven very successful. Keep up the writing.

[Kshitij Srivastava]

It's a great write, I was sucked into it right from the start. The way you detailed it,.probably was the reason for the kind of grip it created. As far as the story line is concerned, I haven't read anything like that. But I still would call it unique or silly either. Overall, it was nice and I enjoyed reading it👍

[Pushkar Prabhat]

Awesome!!!!
now i am frightened.......the things i boasted about this girl to my friends.........that girl, my imaginary girlfriend......OMG.....save me.......lol
intriguing story........
enjoyable characters.....
i loved it!!!
:)

[Angad Waraich]

This is a real interesting piece dale, its dark and yet entertaining to read, If this was a quick write i wait to see what you do with one that you mold slowly.

A nice read.
Thank you.

Angad

[Taylor]

Back to take another look at your writing. My intention is to offer constructive comments and not to be heavy handed. These are only one reader's opinions, so disregard what doesn't work for you.
1) The first paragraph for me is almost all telling rather than showing. Also, I don't see a "hook" in it; yes, you allude to horrendous high school years and that he is an Adonis, but I don't believe that's sufficient to capture the reader's interest and cause the reader to read on. The paragraph feels very rushed.
2) "Tessa left Lancaster after high school and remained in Seattle after college. “How odd,” she thought, but then she was also ecstatic and filled with anticipation." I don't understand this -- is she just thinking that her reaction to seeing him is "odd'?
3) In "Ten Years Earlier" the first two paragraphs are mostly "telling" as well.
4) “Looks like you and Paige have been lying in the sun, in teeny bikinis; he remarked moving a little closer. “You know, you’re really beautiful,” smiling like a jackal. How can he tell that? In the next sentence, you describe her as being dressed in clothing which would not reveal tan lines -- you might rectify the problem with having him say, "I bet you and Paige have been lying in the sun in teeny bikinis..."
5) Also in this section, you use several similies related to aggressive beasts. The action you describe up until the point you use the similies is pale in contrast to the similies. In other words, his actions although inappropriate don't at that point justify the particular similes used.
6)" Rodney didn’t skip a beat." -- cliché
7) “Tessa, that lying a*****e Gavin has told everyone you tried to stick your tongue down his throat; that you nearly choked him.” She began to shake all over.

“Why would he do that?” Tessa said tearfully.

“Because you turned his arrogant a*s down, that’s why. He’s a bigheaded egotistical s**t. Don’t worry Tessa; I’ll talk to Rodney,” Tessa still trembling, and tearful. -- The writing picks up here -- the reader gets direct contact with the characters without the filter of a narrator.
8)Unfortunately, that didn’t work and throughout her high school days, she heard “Tessa the Tongue” over and over. Those were the darkest days of her life. MySpace was splattered with those three words. If butter equaled rumors, she could feed the town for years. She was the mouse in the bucket, trapped, churning and turning. She isolated herself and dreaded school. One desperate desolate summer, she had given up; she wanted to die. She was so low, so depressed she felt that death was her only way out. " -- This could be powerful if delivered in a scene - showing how she discovered this initially.
8) The appearance of the "creature" in the garden seemed abrupt. Also, it's very much telling and lacks the dynamism of showing.
9) "She bathed with Ogilvie Sisters Soap by candlelight. Prepared her hair and makeup and opened a box of lingerie. It was elegant and very sexy; peach colored with tiny white beads. She even picked out a sexy dress, and slipped on the hose and garters; put on her four inch stilettos and out the door she went. " -- Again, this is an opportunity for a scene.
10) As I am reading the section about the dinner date, I am asking myself over and over again, why would she go out with a guy who had caused her so much pain in high school? That doesn't seem to me to be a typical reaction even if he is a hunk. In order for it to work, I think you're going to have to give the reader more justification.
I think what you have is the outline of a story, which certainly can be developed into an interesting piece. I like the concept of retribution against a cad and if you develop some scenes, it could be either fun or filled with horror. My taste favors humor but I can see this piece going either way effectively.

[Confuser]

Taylor, thank you SO MUCH AGAIN! I will copy the review and use it as I rewrite: For you to take the time to help me is unbelieveable! I have one rewrite, but I'm learning as I go and one thing for certain is to SLOW DOWN....I wrote this very quickly. But still, after I re-read later, I hated it...thanks again. Dale

[Taylor]

We all learn as we go and I've found that I learn a lot from the writers here. For me I think I've finished a piece and then when I read it a short while later and begin to edit again. Now I'm beginning to wonder if I'll ever finish anything. But that's ok.

[Confuser]

You are absolutely correct; to write we MUST read; in my case it has to be; it's all new to me. Thanks for the encouragement again Taylor. Pressure, time and good advise....:d

[Justin Robben]

Sort of an odd concoction... It's got darkness, near-erotica and some silliness sprinkled in.
I think there's something there. I am just uncertain if it's been fully realized yet.

If silly was what you going for, ultimately, than so be it. But I feel like the good message, and all the vengeance/darkness was wasted with the last paragraph or two.

Your story though!

I will say your writing comes off quite well. Engaging and enjoyable.

Maybe a tad less 'tell' and a bit more 'show'.

[Confuser]

Thanks...Justin, I think it's a hot mess. Not in the good way. I'm a novice; may just keep my stories on my copy paper & stick with poetry on here; haven't decided. Thanks again...Dale

[Justin Robben]

Please don't do that. Poetry is eating this site alive. ..we need storytellers and you have something to offer! !

[Confuser]

I can read..don't worry about that. There are great authors on HERE and I learn so much from them. Thanks..Dale

[DESIA]

Such a good story..I like

[Confuser]

Needs work....and I'll get there. Thank you!

[Annacate]

Dale, I love this. It's a lot of fun to read even as it's Dark. You've definitely got talent. Thanks for posting this. I so enjoyed. Annacate :)

[Confuser]

Annacate: got loads of changes to make, but I'll get there, with a little help from my friends. You guys are wonderful!

[Annacate]

Dale, if you need any help, don't hesitate to ask.
Annacate :)

[Confuser]

Aww, so kind: Thank you!

[Confuser]

....................................................................................:D

[icelandicblue]

A very fatalistic and moralistic story Confuser. I found this to be a very good read!