Just Call Me.....Sunflower

Love lost....pleas to regain, misunderstanding, memories, obstacles to overcome

Just Call Me…..Sunflower

The red moon shines down upon him in specs

Low lonely filtered light he reflects

For he does not trust kindness, frowns

No delight

No trusting in love, no respect for his life

But there’s a trace of him in every word I write

In every thought I think

And he called me Sunflower

I was long and lean, shined tall and bright

 

Inside my brain thunder rattles and shakes

Like a speeding roaring freight train

Boiling steam releasing condensation

Restrained reverence is guiding me

Through channels of his bloody moon’s lost lonely dreams

 

I wish he could see me and know my words are true

But he turns his proud head away refuses to believe

I’m still his sunflower, full of life, swaying in the breeze

Seeking his touch, soft guiding hands around my keys

 

But there’s nothing I can do; plead for him to see

There are honest people in this world

There’s riot inside your mind that’s pleading for truth

To be released waiting wishing you will believe

 

It’s just a tiny plague of madness, mixed with a whole lot of greed

You feel contempt and indifference, but we’re mere mortal slaves

In inhumanity’s credo of the unrighteous indignities

The Lords of Medieval Fantasy whispered to me

They said just let go sweet girl and he’ll be free

But the bloody moon is rising, in his deep REM sleep

I feel a warm reflection like the hot desert’s heat

The righteous razor screams the cut’s too deep

 

But, just call me sunflower; I will turn my head

My soft petals with fall gently upon your chest

We will cuddle together forever at rest laying

Peacefully in our bed…..  

Author's Note

Appreciate input, thanks in advance for reading; just thoughts

Reviews

[Devons]

This is a really attractive piece of writing, and the language is compelling.
It's interesting how it achieves the portrayal of a character by contrast: showing the soft beauty and understanding tolerance of the narrator reflecting the harsh cynicism of the lover by comparison. There's a cleverness in the way that works: indirectness is often a more effective form of communication when combined with intelligence, and is often far more readable than the opposite (which is closer to being didactic).
The overriding message the poem skilfully conveys though is the crux of its appeal: the co-existence of opposites; the 'yin and yang', beauty and the beast, rough and smooth human identity. It is like a mutual thriving based on the qualities of one another, and the sympathy and empathy shared in what the other does not possess. Often people dismiss the possibility of such a relationship of personalities and souls on paper, but in reality it happens all the time - and in fact it is the mediating quality of human survival and understanding.
Really well written; intelligently, sympathetically poised with winning balance.

NB "...mixed with (a) whole lot of greed" --- and shouldn't the third last line read: "my soft petals will fall gently upon your chest"..?

[Confuser]

Devons: Odd, but then again; I corrected that....maybe I didn't save; so sweet to bring it to my attention. I'm reading your review thinking, I totally agree: now let me check out this poem he's referring to....LOL....thanks!!!

[Devons]

Oh, I am a microscope!!

[Confuser]

I am going to restrain: Sorry, I bet you would have loved microbiology, physiology, anatomy and above all the labs.........................Guten Tag! Too smart Devons, your use of language is powerful!.......thanks again....

[Devons]

Actually, I hated science at school! ;)
Although there are certain parts of anatomy I find fascinating... I'll shut up now .

[Confuser]

Gotcha: but I love science and especially chemistry, and every one I mentioned; have a great day!

[Crystal Overmeyer-Birmi..]

I had to read this poem four time to fully drink it all in. I love poems that make you dig in deeper and find the layers of the words. I am usually not a huge fan of long wordy poems, but this held my attention thought out it duration and i didn't feel like a lot of fluff was there. Every word was needed.

[Workvio]

This is a very lovely and inspiring piece of your heart penned to page ... Beautifully done, each and every line ...

[Confuser]

You're too kind: thought about "odd-duck"....remember the review...you are the oddest duck, that you could pick the whole pond up and carry it away....too much talent in those wise wings....

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this love lost to madness, he used to love me, now he doesn't trust anyone, including me...the deterioration of a mind....she still hopes to regain him but understands it's futile in this life, but perhaps in the afterward, they will lie together once again.

[Confuser]

Exactly! Thanks....

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

Wow, Dale. This is good, very good. Very good imagery, rich choice of words. I agree with Richard that the stanza that begins with: 'It's just a tiny plague..., is very good. There's also a bit of mystery in it, I don't know why, but I was thinking about the first part (The Gunslinger) of Stephen Kings Dark Tower Series. I think the guy there (Roland Deschain) is such a man, it has to be that. Very well done. :) Rudi

[Confuser]

Rudi: Didn't read it, but read the long version of the stand last. Awee, thanks, just silly thoughts. Chang said to me recently, "It's a Red Moon." I had heard it before, and he said I could use it.

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

The Stand, have good memories on that book. It was the first book I've read in English on a holliday on Majorca when I was still much younger. :) Rudi

[Confuser]

The Long Version, you know there are two.....

[Confuser]

Rudi: also, The Gunslinger is familiar, Roland Deschain, not sure: maybe it was made into a movie, anyway...

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

I think it's the long version. I also saw The Stand on TV a long time ago, was good too. The Gunslinger is just the first part of The Dark Tower Series written by Stephen King. I believe there are 7 parts and just now I discovered he has written another book in this serie 8 years later. That one I haven't read yet. Will look for it. :) Rudi

[Emily]

What a beautiful poem! The story is so rich. I loved all of it!

[Saddam]

This is just mixed with wholly into veins. Greatly imaged. Love it.

It’s just a tiny plague of madness, mixed with whole lot of greed

[R Smith]

Hello Dale, I believe many months ago that I predicted you would be a poet supreme and here you are proving me true, one line scream's at me as brilliant; 'The righteous razor screams the cut’s too deep' an absolutely gorgeous line, I love it and the last stanza is just a dream of hazy beauty although I wondered if you meant peddles or petal's;
this stanza;
'It’s just a tiny plague of madness, mixed with whole lot of greed
He feels contempt and indifference, but we’re mere mortal slaves
In inhumanity’s credo of the unrighteous indignities
And The Lords of Medieval Fantasy whispered to me
They said just let go sweet girl and he’ll be free
But the bloody moon is rising, in his deep REM sleep
I feel a warm reflection like the hot desert’s heat
The righteous razor screams the cut’s too deep'

is a work of genius, the writer's art at its best,
thank you, Dale :)

[MsJewel]

The images you have created, while some sad, are lovely as well. I could feel the emotion in your words... Just call me Sunflower...so beautiful Dale, but what I like best about this one is the tenderness of your words as if you wrote them with a whisper. Beautiful poetry my friend.

Julie