Solitary Linder

Solitary Linder

 

Blistering winds the twilight’s dawning

Blew grains of salt dirt round my face

The sea has vanished and left this dust

I walk upon with wonder’s lust longing

To feel its touch but only rusty ships

Upon this forgotten promise land

 

Sorrows and desire’s infinite call

Crossing my heart I feel the lour of

The deep where we walked upon the

Shores soft our feet would sink into

Sand but mere traces of where we’d

Stand breathing in to taste the ocean

 

Upon our lips reeling in its essence

Falling into the deep we reveled

Soaring in lofty glorious passions

Zeal so torturous and strong

Tall my linder gleaming over

Lost faults beaming in ecstasy

 

Rising like the ocean pushing us

Locked by depths of ardor such

Savored our tongues longing fully

Stained by hungers for those days

Of our sweet escapes now barrow

 

Walk along our enduring aromas

Rafting our lighthouse beacons

Memories of fattened shadows

Bundle lingering loves hallow

Author's Note

Linder: A rare, unique sparkling glimmering rock formation; Lour: Dark or Darkness
Any suggestions are always appreciated: Thank you so much in advance for reviewing.

Reviews

[armin]

great metaphors Dale and so romantic also. I loved these lines,

Crossing my heart I feel the lour of
The deep where we walked upon the
Shores soft our feet would sink into
Sand but mere traces of where we’d
Stand breathing in to taste the ocean

Wonders the words Dale, it's so beautiful.
You captured the scenes very well.
I loved it. Thankyou.

armin. ....

[Emily]

Wow..this poem has such an amazing flow! The shift to and from ideas went unnoticed, and it worked out wonderfully! The only thing I would change is having stanzas. I would just have the line breaks and one long stanza instead of needlessly breaking up your river of words. Great work!

[Terrence Chang]

Nicely written Dale. Love it. Keep it up and beyond.

[C. Lee Battaglia]

"Upon our lips reeling in its essence
Falling into the deep we reveled
Reeling in lofty glorious passions
Zeal so torturous and strong
Tall my linder gleaming over
Lost faults beaming in ecstasy..."

That was my favorite part! It Loved it!
You are a extremely talented writer with great potential!
Awesome job Confuser!
If you want to look at my story The Blonde Girl and share your opinion, I would be grateful if you could... It was about my friend who passed away from cancer...
keep Up the amazing job!

C. Lee Battaglia

[Ana B.]

A gorgeous magical journey inside a trully brilliant and lively mind. There is something almost ethereal about linder.......like it's from another world.....this piece had me spellbound. Great work Dale. :)

[MomzillaNC]

Interesting. I was vaguely familiar with the Linder Hypothesis regarding international trade patterns. Lovely themes and use of metaphors.

[Confuser]

You are so smart!!! Thank you. Dale - have a wonderful day.

[MomzillaNC]

Not really… I'm just over educated! :D

You're welcome. :D

[Confuser]

I know; so am I.....it doesn't always work the same now does it? Seriously, you draw, you sing, you write poetry & books; you have a blog, you are computer savvy. I actually remember things vaguely from economics but that's so long ago, and other things are own my mind: but you go; I love watching the ride going higher. Honesty, I really admire your tenacity. Thank God. Dale

[MomzillaNC]

Thank you very much.

[Confuser]

You're welcome..........................:Dale

[MsJewel]

I love your use of metaphor in this beautifully sensual and romantic gem. Brilliant writing Dale...stunning, stunning poetry!

:) Julie

[dan]

Dale, Wow! The romantic waves in this write come crashing across the craggy shore like...well...you're the poet here, like what? 8^) The love and lust coursing throughout this piece can light the lamp in the lighthouse with its fiery intensity. If this is about someone in your life then that person is lucky to share this intense love, this fire of romantic tension. You manage to make this sound racy without describing anything in an over-the-top explicitness. I have to go put a cold cloth on my forehead now. You go, girl! take care...dan

[ANTO]

Wow Dale - I didnt read your authors notes until the end so I was of the impression that the linder in the poem was a type of boat - which works here also since a single boat can also signify a lonely time/place/journey.

Now I will re-read it with the thought of the rock formation. Really good personfying the rock I felt empath for its plight as it dries out and cracks and fissures in the open air, in the baking Sun. I never thought I'd feel sorry for a rock - you or rather the author's writing made that happen so you know how to write words that play the hearts' strings -
This reminded me of the lonely single standing stones dotted around the UK and Ireland which usually have a haunted local story attached of a lover turned to stone by a witch for example or some such.
Good write my friend.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i like how you used the beautiful rock formation to present a sensual but subtle love poem with great strength in metaphor.

ah...you took my breath away.

[Confuser]

Jacob: you guys take my breath away; I wrote this, like you said, w/o thinking in about an hour.