Tender Hearts

I feel like a first grader when it comes to writing about the heart, so feel free to slam me;

Tender Hearts

 

*****************************

A tiny tender heart pure and white,

So innocent and giving like dawn’s morning light

Every morning and late twilights twinkle

Lit up the world with smiles colored

like rainbows never-ending.

 

Flowers look upon her and gleam,

Prances ‘round daisys' and butterfly's wings,

Innocuous, intoxicating, exhilarating delight,

No one could compare to her parlor of dreams.

 

Amorous thief stole her bright shine,

Wiped his shiny shoes and said adieu,

Tears fell fast upon the earth and landslide

Took him asunder the hot burning earth,

 

Satan grinned for he excelled at his craft,

He asked why I am here, what did I do,

You split apart her heart and took her virtue,

Now she wears a veil, like you used to,

 

But she will dance again, unlike you.

The fires of love grows stronger every

Dawn and lights up the meadows with

Lilies that spawn laughter around the land,

 

You left her with blessings, and that I cannot stand!

So you will burn forever, searching for someone,

In the ashes of my darkness, I will give you my son,

Your filthy skin will melt like snow, for all eternity.

 

 So think twice young men, before you make a vow,

They are meant to be kept, so think carefully now.

Author's Note

Thanks to Ana, Will and Emily for help with my grammatical errors! Big Ooops! Will try to look much more carefully!

Reviews

[Sophy Freebirds]

ohh my!! Recently i was in dilemma whether to call my ex and wish him a new year... but now you have convinced me that i need to let him rot in hell for all i care!!
Talking seriously i like your power to weave such a lovely tale with a power of parable in it.. It gives the reader a delight . not only is the theme innocent but the style and usage of delicate phrases emphasize rhe purity. The flowers the fields the country setting give us a peaceful feeling.But the entry of Satan-Boom!! Makes the readers ready for a scary s**t! But it takes a turn and makes the devil pay.Thats really cool. :) i am happy i read you. *takecare*

~Sophy

[Confuser]

Sophy, it is for us to be kind; maybe not a good idea to call; but I wish you and everyone, happiness and peace. Thank you for reading; did this so quickly; you are a very good writer.

[Sophy Freebirds]

:-) i am humbled. thank you so much.Was a pleasure reading

[Confuser]

You are so kind. Thank you.

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

I LOVED THE ENDING!
Though the whole piece was great.
Seems like you put allot of thought into this piece Dale.
Your writing is very deep, and soulful.
I enjoyed this piece.
Keep writing :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, and we surely miss both Will and Ana...as well as many who have left the site, recently.
i really like this write. The rose colored glass shatters when love isn't forever as it is supposed to be.
The fairy tale has a bad ending...but, we need to move on from that. The heart will survive, maybe a little smarter and more skeptical, but it will.
really good write,
jacob

[Benita-Staebell M - Kin..]

Wow this was simply stunning.


thank you for stopping by my
page and take your time coming
back I am resting my hand and may
take a break from online for a while
if you don't see me you know why
I've been so overwhelmed with so much
at home just going to have me time and
relax.




I loved these stanza's lines here they were lovely.



Flowers look upon her and gleam,

Prances ‘round daisy's' and butterfly's wings,

Innocuous, intoxicating, exhilarating delight,

No one could compare to her parlor of dreams.



But she will dance again, unlike you.

The fires of love grows stronger every

Dawn and lights up the meadows with

Lilies that spawn laughter around the land,



God bless. Benita

[sonnie ibadah]

this is beautiful and compelling. i can easily relate to this after my long-term heartache. thanks for sharing

[Workvio]

Not sure what to say here ... You've penned a great poem, but on a topic that to me is moot ... How can any woman today expect a man to behave anything less than like an animal, when we live in a right's age where women have now gained their rights, rights of the freedom to do as they wish, sleep with whom they wish, when they wish, where they wish ... To abort their children at whim ... To live independently of a man or a husband in raising a family ... I could go on, but what would be the point, because the point is that when women did not have these rights (not knocking women's rights) men were expected to behave themselves differently then they are now. Women's rights have not only set women free, but have set men free from any and all responsibility towards a woman he sleeps with, regardless of what new lie his mouth may utter ... In the old days, if a man treated a woman wrongly, her daddy or some other appropriate relative would gladly assist the young man in stepping up to the plate of matrimony in shouldering up his responsibilities, and if he did not wish to do so, a good old fashion a*s beating would rectify is defective thinking ... If after the marriage, he should put his hand to her, the dad or someone would once again step in and make the necessary adjustments to the new husbands attitude ... The concept of until death do us part was not just a line out of some movie in those days ... In the war for women's rights, guys had the most to gain, and they have clearly gained it, and sadly so ... A woman used to have the supreme right of being treated and respected as a lady, but this right has been traded and bartered away for other rights that held forth the appearance being beneficial and better for women, but in reality they have served to harm women, for few women, today, are truly ladies, anymore ... I lay the blame for this upon us men, and so I say: Shame on us men for making ladies a thing of the past ... Yes, I am old fashioned, and I was raised to treat a woman like a lady ...

[Sami Khalil]

"The fires of love grows stronger every
Dawn and lights up the meadows with
Lilies that spawn laughter around the land,

You left her with blessings"

[katja]

i couldn't agree more... to heck with the belief that only the one who broke your heart has the power to mend it...
... thoroughly enjoyed these deep musings of yours, Dale

thank you for sharing your craft
~ yekaterina

[Country Girl47]

WOW! Spoke the truth, understandable and enjoyable to read.

[Confuser]

Thank you so much! My first poem was Paper Heart; I'm new to this; could learn a lot from you. So nice of you to read.

[Country Girl47]

I will try to help the best I can. Have you ever wrote a poem with someone else?

[Confuser]

Nope. Put my name in for pairing, kind of nervous about it. What about you?

[Country Girl47]

Yes, and actually won second place with my co writer. Would you like to try it with me? We can either text back and forth or email each other. Up to you

[Confuser]

Sure, but I'm scared!!! My 14 year old just came in and showed me how to right click and copy; the tabs at the top disappeared. Tell me what to do. I am slow, like a turtle.

[Cool Girl]

Oh Dale, slow and steady wins the race:)

[Confuser]

HA, I'm laughing so loud! I don't think I've ever been slow and steady.

[Cool Girl]

Okay, then you're slow and fast at the same time. I thought that was impossible, but I guess you can do it xD

[Confuser]

OMG, you are making me so less nervous; how can I ever thank you. LOL!

[Confuser]

Where did she go anyway? Poof, wanted to give her my email at least.

[Cool Girl]

Eh, just continue to be my amazing friend:)

[Cool Girl]

Oh, I have no idea where she went. Maybe she's a ghost LOL

[Confuser]

HA......Cool Girl, you are so sweet! Well, I gotta go. Hope she'll come back soon; we are not friends; duuh, I'll send her a request.

[Cool Girl]

xD ok! Ttyl :)

[Country Girl47]

I am back, sorry took so long

[Confuser]

I just got back, don't know how long I have. Hope you're doing well.

[Country Girl47]

I am ty

[Confuser]

My name is Dale/are you on f/b?

[Country Girl47]

Yes, under Melanie Palmer and have a page called country girls poetry and stories. Another one called share your poetry and photography, too

[Confuser]

Great, I'm not on facebook often, but you can find me: DaleSpringsMitchum. Never put a lot of work into "loads" of pictures etc. But that's okay and I'll look at your pages this week. Thanks. Got to hit the sack. Getting sleepy. Hope you have a great night's sleep. Dale

[Country Girl47]

You, too! Will ttyl

[Confuser]

Bye now, let us how sweet "inspiring" dreams!!! Hehehe. Bye

[Country Girl47]

Good morning!

[Confuser]

I've been up for quite a while, my morning is almost gone; usually wake up about 3:30 am - this morning a little later, but still, Ive got loads to do. Bye for now.

[Country Girl47]

Same here

[Confuser]

Just got a message from moderator to be paired with someone to write a poem. But that doesn't mean we cannot try sometime; I'm not sure about this at all, but I will try. Dale

[Country Girl47]

That's ok.

[Confuser]

Just wrote a crazy poem; got to find someone to take a look; it is different; just wrote it quickly; Oh my Goodness; a work in progress, but I hope I've got something of substance; just stream of thoughts, that sounds like a RAP!

[Country Girl47]

Sounds pretty cool. How's your weekend going?

[Confuser]

Good, so kind of you to ask. How about you? I'm sorry I haven't read more of your poetry, but I will, God willing. Have lots to do; visitors; cleaning, you know....Anyway...you have a great day!

[Country Girl47]

You, too.

[Jamsheed Shafi]

a good interpretation of your thoughts.
friend, keep writing.
your words are awesome.

[The Black Warrior]

This is so Power and I loved it, it

Ana and Will are truly the best ;))

Thank you for sharing "confuser" :D