Marvelous, spectacular, wonderfully written piece. Great vision about the ocean. This poem left a mark in me as I have to learn more about writing. With age comes experience and experience gives us a pleasure to do things the better way. And you thought me that with your writings time after time
This is very deep and beautiful. I must admit that I'm really impressed with your vocabulary and the way you pour those ideas into poetry. There are so many parts that touched me but this is the stanza I liked most:
"This intricate labyrinth grows
I agree with your beliefs....so outwardly written in this poem and the simplicity charms my senses even more.
I ain't used to your writing style yet so would concentrate on this poem.
I love this poem because it carries a truth so pure about recurrent phases in this boundless universe. Not to mention the metaphors used that douse you in thoughts.
It was a pleasure reading you.
That is so kind of you Namrate. Thank you young lady. My name is Mrs. Dale Mitchum.
9 Years Ago
Lovely to know.
9 Years Ago
I'm on facebook, if you use it, DaleSpringsMitchum, but I do not go to the site often. Thank you Na.. read moreI'm on facebook, if you use it, DaleSpringsMitchum, but I do not go to the site often. Thank you Namrate.
These are beliefs I stand upon, the soul reincarnating and our life being a result of our Karma.
Most people do not adhere to this concept as they like to believe they live only once; I believe if we go by this logic it is only a loss to humanity if one can only live in one part of the world at one time only.
The metaphor for the vessel comes off very imaginative and again makes me think.
"They sway, degrade and decay.
Sometimes for our protection,
Sometimes just a game,
Oh, how our memories love to play."
This line made me laugh and is my favourite :D Clever write, Ma'am and again a little polishing will take it a long way and make it more meaningful.. but only in two-three places.. I like it as it is...
Thank you for sharing this.. :)
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Justin Timberlake......"What goes around and around, comes back around." Silly, but he's very talent.. read moreJustin Timberlake......"What goes around and around, comes back around." Silly, but he's very talented and so true. People must believe in Karma, I have for many, many years. The concept of one life, is unacceptable to me, however, convincing, people is another thing. Closed minds! We must accept or at least educate ourselves about other things. I do not push my beliefs on anyone. Christianity is so inbred in our society, even to mention Buddism, it's like they think I ripped apart the bible. It's ridiculous. I do pray, I meditate and it helps me. Anyway, I so appreciate you reading this. I would like the 2/3 places to be perfect. So I hope I can, one day. The vessel can be many things. I am glad it made you think. Good.
This piece is masterfully penned, I am so glad i stumbled on to this piece it is really very well done.
I enjoyed it thoroughly.
There are too many lines that i loved to point them out as a lot of the others have done.
I loved how you portrayed the body as a vessel on the journey we call life with all its up and downs.
An exquisite piece.
Well done.
Thank you for sharing.
Angad
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Angad Waraich, thank you so much for the kind review. It is definitely encouraging. I had a part 2.. read moreAngad Waraich, thank you so much for the kind review. It is definitely encouraging. I had a part 2, but have decided not - may use some of those words in another poem. I hope you are clearly listening - the words you speak are very kind and are greatly appreciated. I will remember. If you read something of mine and can see a way to help, please do so as well. I will go now and read something of yours. Thank you sir.
Thank you ma'am.
And you are a great writer keep it up.
9 Years Ago
I appreciate the encouragement. Sometimes the words flow, other times it is much more difficult. I.. read moreI appreciate the encouragement. Sometimes the words flow, other times it is much more difficult. I will try. Thank you.
What a beautifully described feeling in here! Oh forget about the attaractive melody ou have imbued onto these words. Forget about the weaving in and out of the consoonance of rhyme which I can gurantee if must have take a little time to put together. But the journey! First the fact that you center the subject of the journey into a Vessel more than interesting but then you describe the elements as in elemental that surround this object.Then the intentions which seem to "roam" there or thereabouts. All of a sudden a vision "island" becomes a message and it is as if through the malaise helping us to wonder onl to come to the realazation. That through this space there seem to be things that we are allowed to know some others however we don't seem to be lt into while others , yeah those other ones at the end I saw them! Sorry there are somethings you will never know!.
Oh man!
Thankyou
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Rene, how kind of you to read my poem. I think you like it? I should never have thought of the pen .. read moreRene, how kind of you to read my poem. I think you like it? I should never have thought of the pen name "Confuser," which I did after writing a silly poem when I first began; because when I write sometimes it is for "me" and the reader must desiver it - I hope you have. Your writing is delicious and I think you know. I appreciate it.
Memories, so beautifully flawed. Your words here are flawlessly beautiful:
She has wandered through the forests,
Below the canopy,
Reconciliation and peace reside,
But could it be a dream,
Maybe just a deep slumber,
Or a place where spirits meet.
This was a great poem! I really like your writing style, it is so smooth and calming, yet your words are so real (I have a hard time doing this). Thank you for sharing this! :)
Happily married with three wonderful children. The first poem I attempted was Paper Heart which I submitted here last year. People here have been so kind and encouraging! Their feedback and reading t.. more..