Frozen Memory

A childhood memory forgotten, one that I am not fearful of seeing. Not a lot of description, flat. I must work more on this. And will. This is a draft.

Frozen Memory

There was Then,
And
There is Now,
They meet in a mysterious place,
High above the distant clouds,
Void of worries or mistakes,
And like a supernova they collide,
And a lovely Memory has survived.

How could she have buried such a treasure?
There are many more, and I feel them building up in me.

Maybe it has risen from the mud and muck,
A moment of peace, away from responsibilities,
Like a wooly mammoth frozen in the tundra,
Amazingly preserved.  
Worth much more than ancient ivory to her.

Now wonders,
how did this occur?
Then has been silent for many years.

But then the time long gone lives again,:

A silly innocent barefoot girl
desperately trying to fit in,
She’s playing a baseball game with friends,

Two neighborhood boys,
one younger one older,
And her green eyed brother,
One foot stretched off the makeshift base,
He is fast like a jackrabbit and better at bat,
so she heckles him, to her disgrace,
“Ralph Nader ate a tater.”
She sees his angry face, but it doesn’t stop him
from winning the race, he’s smiling loudly,
his foot hits home plate.

Now and Then:
A silly barefoot girl just trying to fit in a crazy world,
And one
That DOES Not Wish She Knew Then,
What She Knows Now

Now laughs and is hopeful,
Then will
Surprise her again…..
With a multitude of carefree sunny days,
When her only job is to smile and play.


 

Reviews

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

It's difficult to believe you just started to write poems. What I mean is that this is very good. I particularly love the first stanza. The describing of the memory and the feelings are very good, very good imagery. I like the way this poem flows. Very well done, Confuser.

[Confuser]

That is actually very kind. And i can assure you, the first poem I attempted was Paper Heart, I suppose a couple of mths ago, so maybe I will get better. I've never had time with children & dogs & children & my husband & whatever. Thank you kindly. I sincerely appreciate your time Rudi J.P L. guten tag.

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

A good day to you too. In Dutch or Flemish it's 'Goedendag'. :)
Rudi

[Confuser]

What little I know of the language, it's quite beautiful. Thank you Rudi. Goedendag!

[Confuser]

...........................................................................Dale

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

I just know Van Dale and that a Dutch Dictionnary ????? :)
Rudi

[Confuser]

What? didn't quite get that, but okay. My name is Dale. Anyway....have a great day.

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

Now I now, Dale, it was I that didn't get the ......Dale, those stupid Belgians !!!! ;)

Rudi

[Confuser]

Thank you Rudi..............................Dale

[S. D. Forogar]

Very well-done! I enjoy the imagery brought forth in this piece, and how the whole poem seems to "answer itself" while still letting the audience ask questions unhindered. Why this memory is so important, and what "like a supernova, collides" both truly allow the Reader the opportunity to form a story of their own from these words.

[nafisa]

The beautiful thing about reading is just how much you learn as a writer, This piece is outstanding, I am so happy to have you on this site, I enjoy reading your work, superb.
Well done, hope to read more soon.

[jennifer little]

nice write i enjoyed it keep up the good work

[Love Nik]

This is so vivid and wonderful. The story just flows so easy. I love it!!!

[Confuser]

I just hate it - you're being kind. You're a very good poet, not me. Thank you. You're so young, don't stop - have two girls older than you. Thanks though.

[Love Nik]

Lol Im 27 so no way you have daughters older than that!! And you have to be the most modest poet around.. There's no way you can't see your talent!! And im not kind at all. Lol its one of the characteristics I missed out on. I am just giving credit where due.

[Confuser]

Nik Hill, my name is DaleSpringsMitchum on F/B - don't go there a lot. There's a picture a couple of yrs ago in my stepdaughters' wedding and she is 30. I got married the FIRST time when I was 17, my daughter, is Cathy Snipes and she is 32! So there, befriend me if you like. You'll certainly add some nice flavor. Loads of nice people, from Lancaster but they are all WHITE as SNOW!! It's strange, my only friends since moving here have been black and we can relate much better. In high school & college, coming from the south, I always had black friends. Anyway...you are the poet. Not me. I used to try to write song lyrics, but usually tore them up. But maybe I'll try to write songs and they'll sounds like poetry. You're a talented sweet girl!

[Love Nik]

Omg you're awesome. Please write songs. Maybe the world would be more beautiful.

[Confuser]

Told you - you are the writer. Maybe the world would be more beautiful, OMG. How silly. I like so many genres of music. Very good at rhyming sometimes. Nic Hill, I wish you would listen to Taylor John Williams sing, Mad World, that boy sang it on the voice this week. I didn't listen to the studio version, but one on you tube isn't as good, anyway; that song, his voice and tone; the song's eeri anyway. I love it. Much better than Tears for Fears version. Anyway....

[Love Nik]

Well maybe you'll just paint the world of Writer's Cafe a lil brighter if the earth is time consuming. I have listened it is wonderful. Music is my other addiction.

[Kitalia Emme]

Lovely memory, and hopeful words. This is a friendly and heartfelt piece. Well done, my friend, well done.

[A. Amos]

This was brilliantly portrait and enjoyed the whole read...

[Confuser]

You must be really bored. HA! I just hate it. Thanks so much anyway.

[Chris]

I like the taste of innocence and the sense of it being taken and yet we deal - somehow. A vision unfolds while just setting and letting the eyes flow and the breath - catch... and images echo...

[R Smith]

this is a great memory of a moment that has taken root in your mind, its easy to understand, a time when something happened that has stuck (frozen) in the memory, the things that appear as time goes by and more pour forth from the arctic mind as age globally warms memories long forgotten and allows them to drift back into your world, grab them, they are beautiful possessions on carefree sunny days :)

[Confuser]

Tks Richard, I do not like this at all, my whatever it is. Hey just realized Mammoths are 30K years old & that's how my description reads. HA!! anyway, your description is better than my writing. The frozen & stuck was what I meant. You're very kind!

[R Smith]

not kind my friend, just a sincere review, you write brilliantly you just have to believe it :)

[lovelife]

This is really good I feel as if I am there watching this happen really neat