Monkey Mind

This took all of 2 minutes and probably reads that way, but I cleared my mind; actually, I wrote this as a review, the first day I joined. It is my Second Poem. Anyway. Thanks.

Am I human, yes I am,
But why all this worry swirling around?
Why can’t I make it stop;
it’s like a crazy train you see
It’s rolling down the tracks so fast,
I can’t get off

Stop my brain, it’s destroying me!

Do I have a monkey mind?
Help me see am I a clown?
I fear so much,
It’s killing me.
Why all these anxieties?

My mind is like a rocket
I can’t stop it!
It goes awry
And I fly
To the end of the earth
Without stopping.

Every second of every day
I wish for fear to go away.

Reviews

[Stonz P.]

I wanted to review you but wanted to read what you 'used to write like' as you are honest about your work.
This piece has emotion and indeed is raw. BUT, I believe a good poet can mask that rawness through various tools granted to us by Literature. All I mean is a revision.
The allusion to a monkey mind is an intriguing one.. It is a good piece...and I wish it to develop its previously unknown qualities.
Let me know if you make the decision, I'd love to read it.

[Confuser]

Thank you. I'll have to work on it, probably quite a bit. It is apparent my new poem simply is terrible. But I love the way you don't write a review, it is encouraging. Thank you for your time.

[Stonz P.]

Ma'am, nowhere in the review have I mentioned your afore said adjectives for your poetry. If it were not to my liking I'd not read it all; avoids having to be superficial.
Your writes are full of emotion and in my view, that is what counts.
But aren't we poets? Anyone can trivially scribble but can all truly express? NO!
Have faith in your writing if you believe it's good, else keep working on it till your heart is content with it.
Trust me, there's no better feeling to a poet than that :)

[Confuser]

Actually, I do trust your opinion. And, it is very, very difficult for me to trust. You poetry is phenomenal. Thank you for your time.

[Michael G. Smith]

It sounds as if you have the madness all us poets endure. The mind which never stops analyzing, contemplating more especially when we try and seek sleep.

[Indra Neil]

thoughts and feelings are very well conveyed in this fine write! this write reminds me of a quote i have read somewhere - 'Mind is a monkey constantly clamoring for attention!'
the similes used add power to this write! well done!

[Jimmy Yetts]

Easy to identify with the merry-go-round of constant anxiety--or some more seemingly direct means of metaphorical conveyance,
Sentiments well expressed, Dale.
Hopefully, the fear has greatly subsided.

[Matching Socks]

Full of emotion, I think some of the best pieces are the ones that are quickly, because it's your true emotions that come out in the moment. Well done,

[deleted]

Very nice piece with much emotion. Thanks for sharing:)

[MomzillaNC]

I've been inspired to compose poems from reviews as well. I actually see a lot of poets do the same -- but they don't pull those compositions to post as their own poetry. I'm glad to see you did so.

NOTES: I recommend this layout for your poem:

Am I human, yes I am,
But why all this worry swirling around?
Why can’t I make it stop;
it’s like a crazy train you see
It’s rolling down the tracks so fast,
I can’t get off

Stop my brain,
it’s destroying me.

Do I have a monkey mind?
Help me see am I a clown?
I fear so much,
It’s killing me.
Why all these anxieties?

My mind is like a rocket
I can’t stop it!
It goes awry
And I fly
To the end of the earth
Without stopping.

Every second of every day
I wish for fear to go away.

[Sami Khalil]

Emotive, realistic and so relatable to all of us. You pen with accuracy and precision. You touch the deepest of our souls. Excellent...:).......

[J Otero]

I identified with these feelings a little too much, especially as a mother and human being all around. I think it's a great little poem for something you say you took only 2 mins to put together. :)

[MomzillaNC]

Another powerful and emotive piece. Anxiety can overwhelm and sometimes, all we can do is rail against our fears.

NOTES: I think the first stanza would be better thusly:
Am I human, yes I am,
But why all this worry swirling around?
Why can’t I make it stop;
it’s like a crazy train you see
It’s rolling down the tracks so fast,
I can’t get off
Stop my brain,
it’s destroying me.