Paper Heart

First Poem I've Ever Written- I'm NEW at This. My oldest daughter is facing a heart transplant, thus Paper Heart. Maybe there's some things about her in there; just my frustration.

Paper Heart

She was born into a world that didn’t deserve her.
Too many years without a kindness,
She holds in tears but feels the pain,
Of the words that kept her tightly contained.
The Lepers
filled her soul with shame
But now she's running to search for grace,
She’s out of breath, and barely breathing.

But the fire will surround them.
And the dragon will roar.
She could slay it and slap it
But they would laugh and want even more.

The mighty river of humanity flows
like a savior we cannot see.
It follows a path from the heavens,
to the seas around mountain peaks,
Lifts her up like a peaceful dream.

Just follow the path of dignity.  

But remember if you have spoken words to defeat the meek,
only a dark jungle you will see.
Blinded by ashes and smoke into the pit of pity you will go.
And the fire that surrounds them, is higher than the heavens,
divided by the words that devoured her.

Her heartbeat has a peaceful rhythm,
One she has never known
For now she has hope and freedom,
But they have only fear because they deceived her.

Sanctified by the light that guides her,
The mighty river of humanity flows,
like the savior we cannot see,
Her bright light will always glow,

This is her destiny.
She is you.  She is me.

Author's Note

Hey, I just quickly wrote this. I'm not a poet; but would like to express myself and learn from you guys. And of course, it's much more than that. I have tried to write song lyrics - and sometimes something, sounds okay; but I am trying to write poetry. Thank you.

Reviews

[wordsofheart]

Not enough words to describe how beautifullly written this poem is. It is very deep and touches the depths of the heart with every line. The use of words is just wonderful. Every line holds it's own beauty and weight in the poem.

You surely don't come out as a newbie to the poetry talent,but more like a professional.Well Done!!!

[Kitalia Emme]

This is well written, there is a single typo that I caught on line seven (But now she running) should be (but now she's running)

Other then that this is excellent, especially if you are not comfortable working with verse or rhyme just yet. I am very impressed by the raw emotion trapped in this piece. It is very lyrical and would go will with music.

You should be pleased.
I know I am. I really enjoyed this read.

And feel free to message me any time. I am not the fastest on the return, but I will be happy to help in any ways I can.

[MsJewel]

You are a poet! The imagery is outstanding...my favorite lines:

The mighty river of humanity flows
like a savior we cannot see.
It follows a path from the heavens,
to the(seas) mountain peaks,
Lifts her up like a peaceful dream.

Just follow the path of dignity.

As writers, I think we are our worst critics. Your poem is wonderful. A pleasure to read.

:) Julie

[Confuser]

I don't know what being a poet even means. I write very quickly and am inexperienced. Thank you.

[Love Nik]

You say you're not a poet. I beg to differ.

[Confuser]

I must read something from you. And like I just wrote, I don't know what a poet is. There should be typos everywhere; I'm inpatient and write extremely quickly; have little focus so I try to stay on task. Thank you so much pretty girl.

[Love Nik]

I don't think that "poet" can be defined. You just bleed feelings on paper. There is no right or wrong way to write what you feel. Who cares about typos, when your words are just as beautiful as you are.

[R Smith]

The mighty river of humanity flows
like a savior we cannot see.
It follows a path from the heavens,
to the(seas) mountain peaks,
Lifts her up like a peaceful dream.

one of the best stanza's i have read in a long time, the whole poem is amazing and you want to learn from us, i say you already have everything you need, thank you :)

[Confuser]

R.A. Beevor, what a compliment. Wowzer. Woohoo. The "stanza" you referred to was so easy; I write quickly and very little. I delete most things I have written. It's just therapy. I don't know the correct verbage sp for poetry - I just need to express my feelings. I told you yesterday, I was extremely impressed with your poem. You know you are talented. It was a great argument, I felt. TY

[R Smith]

I like the way you write, sounds crazy i know but sometimes i just kinda open my mind and watch my hand write on paper to see what comes out, i don't always understand it but sometimes i get something good, of course i do have the odd moment when i actually write words i mean haha

[Confuser]

Thought I just did, what happened?