Paper Heart

First Poem I've Ever Written- I'm NEW at This. My oldest daughter is facing a heart transplant, thus Paper Heart. Maybe there's some things about her in there; just my frustration.

Paper Heart

She was born into a world that didn’t deserve her.
Too many years without a kindness,
She holds in tears but feels the pain,
Of the words that kept her tightly contained.
The Lepers
filled her soul with shame
But now she's running to search for grace,
She’s out of breath, and barely breathing.

But the fire will surround them.
And the dragon will roar.
She could slay it and slap it
But they would laugh and want even more.

The mighty river of humanity flows
like a savior we cannot see.
It follows a path from the heavens,
to the seas around mountain peaks,
Lifts her up like a peaceful dream.

Just follow the path of dignity.  

But remember if you have spoken words to defeat the meek,
only a dark jungle you will see.
Blinded by ashes and smoke into the pit of pity you will go.
And the fire that surrounds them, is higher than the heavens,
divided by the words that devoured her.

Her heartbeat has a peaceful rhythm,
One she has never known
For now she has hope and freedom,
But they have only fear because they deceived her.

Sanctified by the light that guides her,
The mighty river of humanity flows,
like the savior we cannot see,
Her bright light will always glow,

This is her destiny.
She is you.  She is me.

Author's Note

Hey, I just quickly wrote this. I'm not a poet; but would like to express myself and learn from you guys. And of course, it's much more than that. I have tried to write song lyrics - and sometimes something, sounds okay; but I am trying to write poetry. Thank you.

Reviews

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

I won't say anything about your style or the wordplay.. Only one thing, that it touched me to the core..
The heartfelt words just overwhelmed me..
Prayers for your daughter.. And yes, this piece is full of her glimpses..
Beautiful work!
-Jyoti

[dreamcatcher]

This is a candid and touching poem...the emotion expressed throughout is deeply felt...thank you so much for sharing it! I really liked the line 'Her bright light will always glow'...it is a very hopeful and heartfelt line! I think the poem really fits in well with this contest actually...maybe you can take a look at it when you have the time!

http://www.penana.com/story/2817/a-scrapbook-of-love/issue/0

I liked the poem...do believe in yourself!
All the best!

[Jennie Baron]

Hi, Dale, I'm so happy to have come across this poem. It's very powerful and poignant. Absolutely beautiful. It's been a while since you wrote this and I certainly hope your daughter's situation has improved. But you're right, this is not just about her. This is open to many interpretations, but in any event the raw emotion comes through.

[Indra Neil]

Sorry to hear about your daughter's' illness and regarding the poem "WOW!" what can I say? This is a stunning, raw and heart-wrenching write! KUDOS!! *claps*
Thank you so much for sharing your poetic masterpieces with us!

[Confuser]

That's far too kind: I have made many changes to this poem...didn't even know it was a poem: the changes were suggested by many people here and I appreciate it so much. Have a great day!

[Indra Neil]

great! we learn from one another and that further improves our knowledge and skill! this definitely is one of the most amazing writes I have ever read!

[Confuser]

Shocking to me....how many poems have you read? Anyway, you have a great day....but then again, maybe you're like me...I began reading poems here & fell in love; they're phenomenal; I forgot how much I enjoyed reading, anyway; good day...

[Confuser]

Sorry, thank you so much for thinking of my daughter! Very kind of you....

[Indra Neil]

LOL! I haven't kept track but i can assure you I remember the quality and not quantity! you are humble and kind! Good day to you too! :)

[Confuser]

#####################################################THANK YOU AGAIN##########(:)D

[Indra Neil]

u r most welcome! :)

[Confuser]

Good Day Indra....(Keep writing).............................LOVE YOUR POEMS............................

[Indra Neil]

Thank u!! :)

[Iris]

I think I don't need to repeat the incredulous words others have already bestowed upon you, but seriously Dale, what do you call a person who writes poetry? Last I checked, it was a poet. :)
You have no trouble expressing yourself in poetry, amazingly. I cannot do that. The one poem I've posted up here is the product of consistent hard work and worry. You're obviously a natural. You need to keep writing because your passion is raw and unconstrained. You would go sky-high as a poet. The words are beautiful and touch the heart. You're always a pleasure to review for!
Thanks.

[Confuser]

Iris, you words are more beautiful that the picture, and for me that says so much! Thank you so much for the encouragement. You can do that, and remember it....don't worry, don't think, just write.

[dan]

Dale, I read this again today (7/16/2015) and find it hard to imagine this being your first poem written. The raw emotion and beautifully conceived wording and flow are incredible and so vividly complete. See most people think that poetry is impossible to try to write, but a lot of times it just involves emptying the contents of your heart onto paper or keyboard. Like I've told you before my prayers are with you, her and the entire family. I hope that God can guide you through this test...and to the perfect outcome you all deserve. take care...dan

[Confuser]

Dan, you will never know how much what you have said means to me: not about the poetry, about her. Only one other person, maybe 2 know about Cathy, but like I said, I try not to bring it up. You're the only person I've shared all of her disorders. When I read a review, like this, I'm blown away, at your incredible ability to write! I promise you this is the first poem I've ever attempted; I've learned a lot here; PEOPLE HERE, LIKE YOU CAN WRITE!!! I'll never forget this, and my prayers are with you & Dee as well. Dan, I can't lose faith, and I can't imagine being without her. Thanks again. Dale

[dan]

Having the capacity to care about others is, I believe, almost a prerequisite for the ability to express one's self through writing. It's called empathy, the act of NOT saying I feel sorry for you, but that I FEEL FOR YOU. I'll never meet you or Cathy or any of your family but I am able to feel a distant aspect of YOUR pain through the words that you write to me. You are one of the nicest people I've met since joining WC and it follows naturally that the care for you, Cathy and family will be felt by me. Always in my thoughts and prayers; take care...dan

[Confuser]

There you go again! I'm always telling my son & husband, like a crazy groupie: "THESE PEOPLE ARE SO TALENTED!!!" ON & ON, you possess excellent communication skills, and in case you didn't know, I think you're a very kind person. I emphasize the importance of being kind to my son, over ANYTHING ELSE....Yes, he's got to get a degree and support himself, but without the ability to understand, sympathize and show human kindness, he will never succeed. Dale

[dan]

Dale, There are plenty of people who show no empathy toward others but are successful, if only monetarily. To be a success as a person, however, requires some of the qualities of which you speak. I was fortunate to be taught the right way to go about my life by my parents, two strict but GOOD people. I think your son will inherit those qualities from you and your husband. I'm sure he is already showing you that. take care...dan

[Confuser]

Thanks Dan: We had the same kind of upbringing. Kids are different today, but I strive to instill good qualities in my children. He's getting there...Life's tough, gotta "roll with the punches."

[Robert]

Confuser,

This is a very heart felt poem with all the emotions expressed. I picked this first poem you mentioned you wrote first to read. As a parent as you, with a daughter with Cystic Fibrosis, I know the ups and downs, the lengthy hospital stays, treatments etc. I really feel this poem and can picture what you are going through. Please take a moment and read my poem "You" it is about my daughter and so many words in your poem are similar to my poem. I will read more of your pieces. I do hope your daughter is doing well.

[Sydney]

This gave me chills. You say you are not a poet, I disagree. Very very powerful write. I absolutely love this. You have everything going here. Rhythm, imagery, rhyme. On point all the way

[Willard Wells]

Good start and sorry for the pain that brought this about. Writing is a good way to release some of your pain or at least share them so you feel some momentary lighter moments. Prayers for you and your daughter.

[Confuser]

Thank you Williard; haven't revisited this poem until now....Thanks for the prayers, and you're correct about the therapeutic benefits of writing. It has helped me in ways, in cannot express, along with the kindness of so many people. Dale

[AaronFreitas]

I read about your first poem on your profile and wanted to read.... it's an amazing write! I loved it... such a difficult situation to write about but it was great. I hope she is doing well.

[Confuser]

Aaron, you're just too sweet! I haven't revisited this poem. I was so angry about her disease; She has to have a heart transplant and more complications; so kind of you to ask!! I love her sooooo much.

[AaronFreitas]

I have 4 daughters... so when I read this it hit me hard and really put into perspective how blessed I am to have 4 healthy girls. I hope everything goes well with the transplant. I understand how you would be angry... nothing hurts more than seeing our loved ones hurt.

[Confuser]

You are blessed Aaron: This is a disease that can happen to anyone: it's rare, it's a way our bodies react, almost like an allergic reaction....nothing genetic, tylenol, some other medications, eosinophils attack, but built up...she's actually an anomaly: they usually find it at autopsy, but she's been told to get her affairs together a couple of times. God bless you and your family!!!