Hell is for children

A child writing to her angel from above.

Hold my hand, please, dear angel
suffer with me as I torture myself;
laugh at me as I scream into the dark,
deny me the life I want as I lay dying,
help me not when I ask for it.
Show me the shoulder I show everyone,
force me to hold myself when I want embrace,
force me to accept the loneliness I show,
I deserve nothing but the pain I feel.

Dear sweet angel, I ask this of you
for I have ignored so much from everyone,
I must suffer the pain and torture alone,
I must grow up and walk Ta'na'ne'ka.
I am no woman, not even close, not at all.

I shall walk alone and have no one.
But watch me, be that voice that mocks;
be that laughter that shows up in darkness.
Be a part of my torture, make me suffer.
Please, force me to cry and be far more alone.
Do not carry me anymore and stare me down,
I am nothing but a child and Hell is for children.

Author's Note

Yes, I know its depressing and not in poem form but how is it?