journal- July 4, 2009

      So this is how its going to be. For reasons even unknown to me i am going to write a journal on here for now on. So that people may know my true feelings and thoughts on the everyday events that i have. I dont know why im doing this i just began to think. E-man^HE told me the other day. "You dont have real problems , thats why she never cared about you, your just a bad emo kid". Which when uttered made me laugh my a*s off but this morning made me think, if i dont have real problems then why do i exist? should i? All i do is complain, but i do more in life than complain but people dont see that cause it wouldnt be as easy to mock me, but of course they never do see that side of me all they see or want to see is my emo side. Why? I have no clue. So now i am going to write everyday about what happened and what i think of it. So that people may know how my life is, but no im not doing this for attention im doing this for myself. So that i may look back and wonder what the hell i was thinking back then. This is all for me, not for you. I am still wondering if i should delete people i actually know in person off before i begin this little project because all of this will be containg my TRUE feelings and my REAL thoughts some may not like that and ive already hurt to many people, but what the f**k add more fuel to the fire right?  I really dont know well i'll just stop here for now and see what you all have to say, Who knows when this will end or how long i will do it for. Only time will tell

Reviews

[..R.I.P..]

Maybe I should've read this sooner..Did you decide to delete them? If so, why? You need your friends, and you need to act like you care more often. I didn't know you were some little emo kid that just whined alot....that wasn't the side of you I've ever seen. Idk if you've ever actually taken me serious or not....but I'd like you to try if you don't. I'm sorry that you and your friends have gone through some s**t, but do you really have to write about it? Why let strangers know the s**t that happens? Write it in a notebooks and save them. That's what I do.

[ruth]

hey.. long time i havent talked to you and this..your journal entry makes me wonder more about you. and honestly sometimes i dont know what goes on with you. And delete me if you want. i dont know what i have done to you, and if i did then you shudve come to me and we couldve talked about it. dont you think thats the right way? or shud one go behind someones back and talk s**t? idk... i guess it depends on the person and how strong they are.
And nick, going back to the deleting part, yea, i dont understand why you would wanna delete people that know you. wat i mean, why open up to strangers when you cudve opened up to us? you know wat i mean? or are you too embarased to be laughed at? idk.. isnt that the reason why we are all friends? well, am i really your friend? or just an acquantaince, i think so, cuz i dont talk to you as much anymore. sometimes the things you do or say makes me not care bout wat goes on anymore, and like your name comes up and sometimes i listen sometimes i ignore. idk.
you are a human being, but just grow up. MAn up and take responsibility for your damn actions. your 18 and im surprised that you still havent passed your drivers exam.
i dont hate you or anything, but ive heard many things about you and wat youve said, yea ive said s**t myself in response to that, but in the end of the day, does it really matter?

[E-man]

ok first of all don't blame things on me. Second it's not that we want to see you as an emo kid it's that whenever we or should I say I
.. yeah when I talk to you you either don't give a rats a*s about things or you're complaining about something, you're never that kid that can care about someone because you either don't care or you think you have a lot going on also and I don't blame you for that but laughing while someone talks to you is kinda cold and you want to delete us? why? Seems like you're going to be giving your side of the story and mean while we shouldn't even be allowed to read? What you would rather have these strangers know how you feel than us, your friends and family, the people who will truly help and be there. Well that decision is up to you but it is more than obvious to me that you don't/can't trust us once again I can't blame you, like you said I've made your life a living hell and why should you trust someone you hate? No, I'm not hurt you decided to give your honest opinion so I'm honestly replying to what has been said but just don't blame me for what happens to you for two good reasons 1. you should take responsibility for your actions 2. When I first met you I told you that I would let you down when you finally trusted me... oh and contrary to what you wrote I said she always cared about you but you were too busy ignoring me to really notice things

One more pointer you shoulda just written the journal entry in the actual writing and written why you wrote it under the description cuz I don't think that had anything to do with what you wrote