A Long Life, Short

It's amazing what inspiration 8 hours of school can bring...

    The ring of the bell signaled his freedom as he placed his books into his pack. He smiled and laughed amongst the sea of students as he boarded the yellow dingy “boat.” The spot beside him was seated by his companion since early childhood. They spoke of things that most typical, adolescent boys spoke of. A girl with wavy hair and large eyes flashed a shy smile and waved at him. His face turned hot and bright red. His friend laughed.

    The bus stopped and he squeezed into the walkway and left the bus. He slung his bag over his shoulder and headed home, the cool breeze whipping across his face. He wrapped his jacket around him tighter. He reached his small home and turned his key into the lock. It made a familiar click. The house was silent and still, time seemed to be frozen. He ran to his room and dropped his school bag onto his bed. He grabbed the bag’s zipper and unzipped the bag. From the bag he pulled out a composition book and a pen. He scribbled a short note into the notebook and tore out the page. He ran onto his father’s study and grabbed the stapler, and into the kitchen to get a knife. He ran as fast as he could to the barn and found some slightly frayed, long rope. He took the knife, hands trembling as he remembered how he had used the utensil on himself, and cut the rope. He then stapled the note to his shirt. He stood on a box and a small tear ran down his face. And, then…




    An hour later, his mother came home. She found him in the barn, dangling by a rope tied around his neck, with a note on his chest that said,






                                                “ I’m so sorry.”

Reviews

[your a challenge!]

Dagg!

[Jeffrey Gershom]

Again, you strike a powerful chord with this short-short. I can relate to your character, for I too had feelings of not fitting in as a child. There are times when we sometimes feel that no matter what we do, our hopes seem lost. Yet, I handled my situation differently. Too bad your character couldn't, but then it wouldn't have been a good story. Tragedy has been the hallmark of storytelling for centuries.
Good job!! Keep it up!!

[InkSlinger]

Your stories are always interesting.. you allow the reader to become part of the storyline.. I liked this, but felt it was a little rushed.. adding a little depth of his character, a description, or a little insight as to why would have really made this piece pop.. You have a great amount of talent, so keep building and pushing yourself.