What a beautiful and heartfelt message for the people of France. I can tell you really feel an international solidarity.
"But people of France, now hear this
Let the prayers of earth become the smoke above your city
Let our retaliation be known, furiously and gritty"
That part was AWESOME.
"Let the nations of one world stand together as a committee."
And that line falls flat. Because of the word "committee." Committees aren't exciting. No one is like, "The committee is here! We're saved!"
Maybe instead, "As we, one world, stand in solidarity."
I don't know. Just not committee. Also, I would say "furious and gritty" instead of furiously and gritty. They're both adjectives that way.
I also wouldn't spell Paris like "Paree." The French way to say it is the write way to say it, and the French way to spell it is the right way to Spell it.
Overall, I think the verses can be made shorter and more concise and would sound more powerful to the reader that way.
Merci beaucoup for this write.
Prayers of peace to all
bill
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
And thank you for reading, Bill. We must spread our well wishes and peace throughout the world. It i.. read moreAnd thank you for reading, Bill. We must spread our well wishes and peace throughout the world. It is the only way this shadow can be stopped. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts.
Only cowards and mad men would plan such kind of attack. Truly, we should stand together against terrorism for the moment that we cower it is as if we let their misguided beliefs win. My prayers for peace. Thank you for sharing this.
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Gabrielle, I could not agree with your words more. It is cowardly and it is unjust. It will take the.. read moreGabrielle, I could not agree with your words more. It is cowardly and it is unjust. It will take the world uniting to stop the spread of their shadow. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. And thank you so much for giving this a read!
Beautifully written, I adore the fact that you put time into making a poem about this.
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Thank you so much, my dear! I'm glad you enjoyed its meaning. We must stand together, all of us, to .. read moreThank you so much, my dear! I'm glad you enjoyed its meaning. We must stand together, all of us, to obtain peace in this world. Thank you very much for giving this a read!
Thank you so much, my dear! We must all stand together in order to obtain peace. Thank you very much.. read moreThank you so much, my dear! We must all stand together in order to obtain peace. Thank you very much for giving this a read!
Nicely said. The idea of needing to fight for peace breaks my heart. I consider myself a pacifist, but I can not speak for what I would do in situations such as these. If only world peace was an actual, obtainable, solution. We as humans were not made for this type of cruel world. And in this world, it is necessary to fight back. After all, all monsters are humans.
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Beautiful words and thoughts here, Eve. Excellent insight. I couldn't agree more. I don't consider m.. read moreBeautiful words and thoughts here, Eve. Excellent insight. I couldn't agree more. I don't consider myself a pacifist but I do think that violence should never be the first reaction. This has gone on too long. Peace, in this world, can no longer be obtained by anything else. The shadow must be destroyed before it consumes too many. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Eve. And thank you so much for giving this a read!
a great tribute to a new problem we seem to have in our nation
the devil never rests ,he causes mass confusion where ever he goes.and never seems to have
any problems recruiting scum bags ..
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Thank you for the kind and comforting words, my friend! You are very correct. The devil never rests .. read moreThank you for the kind and comforting words, my friend! You are very correct. The devil never rests and his evil never stops evolving. The time is now for retaliation in order to obtain peace. Thank you very much for giving this a read!
Thanks for the comforting words. it is so hard to understand how anyone can hate someone they have never met or seen. God be with all who desire peace. Valentine
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Valentine, I agree. I cannot begin to fathom how someone could have such feelings of hate towards a .. read moreValentine, I agree. I cannot begin to fathom how someone could have such feelings of hate towards a human that they don't know. It is blind hate and there is no place in the world for that. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts. Thank you so much for reading!
You created raw emotions in your poem and displayed the imagery present with passion. You really were spot on. Thanks for sharing this piece and Hats off!
~Rob~
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Thank you so much, my friend! I'm glad you enjoyed this piece and could feel the raw emotion and pas.. read moreThank you so much, my friend! I'm glad you enjoyed this piece and could feel the raw emotion and passion that come with it. The time for change and resistance is now. Thank you so much for giving this a read!
the problem is the stupidity...just like Hitler , the KKK, I could go on and on...until they are to realize that what they believe is false there will be no end unfortunately ...to stop a shadow you must hold it's home responsible and until you are ready to do so it will continue.:(
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
I agree 100 percent, Terry. The time for change is now. The time for a swift retaliation is now. Oth.. read moreI agree 100 percent, Terry. The time for change is now. The time for a swift retaliation is now. Otherwise there will be no resistance of the people to this shadow and it will continue to grow. I appreciate you stopping by and sharing your thoughts. Thank you very much for giving this a read!
There must be change.
Otherwise we are doomed to repeat ourselves.
Thank you for this lovely work in such visceral times.
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
I could not agree more, P.J. The time for change is now! And it must be a worldly effort. Not just a.. read moreI could not agree more, P.J. The time for change is now! And it must be a worldly effort. Not just a European effort. Not just an American effort. It must be all nations of the world in order to put an end to this darkness. Thank you so much for your words and thank you for reading!