An Undelivered Poem

These words are for you, as all of them are...

An Undelivered Poem

A Poem by Colton Warr

I feel unsettled and missing

Like a nomad traveling through an unknown land

Nettled and Reminiscing 

I once knew every small texture of your hand

I feel confused and paranoid

Like a man who had just committed murder

Fused and Destroyed 

My mind does everything to preserve her 

I feel soulless and guilty

Like the Grim Reaper who comes to take 

Boneless and Filthy 

I am broken in ways I did not know I could break 

I feel stressed and disturbed 

Like a student before the final exam

Oppressed and Perturbed 

I think I have given you all that I am

*****

Could I ask?

Do you sometimes feel as if you’re going through the motions?

Drink from my flask

I beg to again be lost within your ocean

Could I touch?

Do you sometimes reach out for my face with your hand?

Your hearts clutch

Shackle me in, never again to disband 

Could I kiss?

Do you sometimes still gaze into nothing, wishing it was me?

I guess I miss,

Whenever you were the only thing I would ever see

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Amazing poetry my friend. You brought me in and held me to the last words.
"Could I touch?
Do you sometimes reach out for my face with your hand?
Your hearts clutch
Shackle me in, never again to disband
Could I kiss?"
The above lines are amazing. I could write a complete poem from these words and emotion. Thank you for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[Colton Warr]

Thank you so much, Coyote! I'm happy you enjoyed this poem! Your words are always so kind and encouraging, I deeply appreciate that! The emotion was strong in this one for me and these words cut deep. If you remember my poem "She is..." This is about the same girl, we are no longer together and it is from my doing. Even after all that she is still my muse though, isn't that interesting? Thanks for stopping by and giving this a read, my friend!

[Coyote Poetry]

We don't forget and you are welcome.

[Paramount]

I absolutely loved every line of it. I do not know what else to say. It was just amazing. This is an incredible piece of poetry. Well done.

[Colton Warr]

Thank you very much! I appreciate the kind words! I'm happy you enjoyed this piece! Thanks for giving it a read!

[KanaDream]

This is so powerful and full of pain and longing. It's a really beautiful piece and it paints a picture similiar to a colorless world of rain... very nicely written. Keep Dreaming

[Colton Warr]

Thank you very much, my friend! Your words are too kind! i'm glad you enjoyed this piece. These words are indeed filled with longing and pain. This one cut deep for me to pen. Thanks for stopping by and giving this a read!

[Mayank]

A closet full of love and longing... very well written, sir.

[Colton Warr]

Thank you so much, my friend! A closet full of love and longing, indeed. I'm glad you enjoyed this piece and felt the emotion wrapped within every word. Thanks for reading!

[Esha Chakravarty]

Too good...very touching...10 on 10!!! M becoming your fan now! Keep it up!

[Colton Warr]

Thank you so much, Esha! I appreciate your kind words! I'm glad you enjoyed this piece! Thanks for stopping by and giving it a read!

[William Arthur]

very emotive poem, I worry that sometimes you lean to much on the rhyme scheme to guide the line composition instead of following the free flow of your emotions. there are some very strong images in here but sometimes they feel like a series of snapshots as opposed to a rich layering of oil-paints upon a textured canvas that come together to form the bigger picture... maybe focus on a few of your strongest images and develop them, really get to grips with them :) my favourites images are 'drink from my flask' & the nettled nomad character... avoid cliches about love being like 'shackles' or an 'ocean' poetry is about finding a new way to voice the things every knows and feels or to impart a new feeling to a situation that everyone can relate to...

[Colton Warr]

Thank you for giving this one a read, William! I appreciate you stopping by and offering some advice and thoughts! On the next poem, I will try and let loose a little more than I did here. Thanks again for checking this one out!

[Rache David]

You have a great style of writing.
Contrast to the title, you delivered the poem so beautifully..
your words are not just words but a package of sensation and message.
Your love and passion for this person are intertwined to every words you've used...
i loved it.. :-)

[Colton Warr]

Thank you very much, Rach! Your words are too kind, and I greatly appreciate the kindness! I'm glad you could feel the emotion within these words. I'm glad you could feel the passion. This one cut deep for me to pen. Thanks for giving this one a read!

[Alessander]

I like the scheme and set up, and you do a fine job of sticking to it.
I think the one detail that sorta sticks out for me is the "exam" part. You go from the dramatic "murder" to "exam" and it sort deflates it a bit. Committing a murder is another level of intensity, and if you want to keep the "exam" part, maybe you can switch the stanzas to build up the emotion? Just a suggestion.

Small type "Hearts" instead of "heart's" (possessive.)

OK. enough with the critic monocle.

I enjoyed the lines:

I am broken in ways I did not know I could break

Drink from my flask.

I thought both lines were very simple but emotive and expressed the feeling clearly.

I give you extra points for level of difficulty too! Not many stick to the rhyme scheme, or if they do, it comes off pretty strained, but you did a good job of keeping the syntax and flow natural.

good stuff.

[Colton Warr]

Thank you very much, Alessander! I'm glad you enjoyed this one and I appreciate the kind words! I see what your saying about the stanzas and how they are slightly inconsistent intensity wise. I'll see about some revisions to this piece and update it soon. I appreciate the advice! Thanks for stopping by and giving this one a read!

[Not here]

great poem, just all around. i really enjoyed reading this. only suggestion is maybe the font could be a little bigger but then again maybe im going blind. anyways, the words were great no matter what size :) keep it up

[Colton Warr]

Thank you very much, Dante! I'm glad you enjoyed this piece! The font could probably be larger, I agree. You're actually not the first to say that lol. I appreciate the kind words, thanks for reading!

[sereenaoutloud]

Wow this is a powerful piece, you can feel the longing, the pain woven in your words! A love lost, regret maybe? This feels so raw and personal!
A sad but fantastic write!

[Colton Warr]

Thank you very much, my friend! I'm glad you enjoyed this one and I'm glad you felt the pain and emotion in its words. This one cut deep for me to pen. Thanks for stopping by and giving this a read!

[The Archon]

Very capturing. I love the line "I am broken in ways I did not know i could break" How true it is that we discover new dimensions of pain when relationships go astray. Thank you for the insightful poem.

[Colton Warr]

Thank you very much, my friend! I'm glad you enjoyed the piece! I found out the hard way of these new dimensions of pain. This was the only way I could explain what I was feeling. Thanks for reading!

[R Smith]

sheer bliss of poetry Colton, the sadness is tangible, i could feel it within myself its so strong, you have a masterpiece here but i hope it did not cost you personally to tell this tale :)

[Colton Warr]

Thank you very much, Richard! I'm glad you were able to feel the emotion within this piece. Unfortunately, the origins of these words did come from something personal in my life. A lost masterpiece of the finest art that I would give anything to have back. She is the most precious and special soul I have ever encountered. Unfortunately I made a mistake. Writing helps though, it is our release. I'm happy you enjoyed this piece! Thanks for giving it a read!